Posted On September 8, 2015 By In Sports, Sports Takes

Ramblings of a Tennis Nerd: U.S. Open Edition


When you watch a lot of tennis, and are opinionated, it only makes sense that you need to document your enthusiasm. During the U.S. Open Men’s 4th round match between Roger Federer and John Isner, I got a little excited, and decided to do just that. Here’s how it went down:


Wow, John Isner, what a fine serve you have. Can you teach me bro?

Federer, you just returned a 138mph serve, how does it feel?

It looks really humid in New York. I’m glad I’m in San Diego.

Am I the only one who’s never seen a player backspin a volley so intensely that it landed back on their side?

Federer must be wearing pink to lull his opponents into a false sense of security.

It’s unbelievable how different a match becomes in a tiebreak.

Federer wins the first set. I need to eat. Maybe get to work on pasta? Just need to be able to run back and forth to the tv.


Come on John! Keep this thing competitive. Oops, Federer is kind of good, I forgot.

How do you even win a game against this guy? The man they call Roger is just too tough.

John HAS to make his serve, there is no way he can win a long rally. I need to do laundry too.

I can’t believe he ran out of challenges. Why do they only get 3 per set? Better question, why did he use them so fast?

Okay, this is the decisive moment of the match. Isner up 5-4, second set. Of course, Federer holds.

Wow John, keeping things going. Have to applaud that, right? 6-6… surprise, surprise, another tiebreak.

John’s going to take this set… I think… oh no! Federer comes back and hits an amazing backhand winner.

I wonder how many properties around the world Federer owns? How much does he spend on private transpo? G-4? G-5?

Whoops, he takes the second set. I don’t see Isner regaining form.


Now, Isner decides to take a long dump in the bathroom, and were stuck waiting for him to come back on court for this third set.

Here he comes. The chair umpire chastises him for forgetting to flush.

Now here we are, third set. The place was quiet… but now its rocking! New York gets weirder as midnight approaches.

Isner is holding his own. Ya gotta give it up for big Johnny boy.

Federer looks to be a little too tough to shake. Shocker.

Maybe Isner needs to take another dump.

John’s last stand: facing 3 break points, down 3-4 third set. He saves the first 2. Can he snag a third? Yes! By the slimmest of margins.

Deuce. Isner goes for a second serve… Fed misses off frame. Interesting… Isner holds.

Another pivotal moment awaits after this changeover… but first we must watch the EPIC US Open commercials from ESPN 3.

And we’re back, Isner in a hole. Down 0-30, but gets it to 15-30, 30-30, and wins the game. He’s about to serve for 6-6. Yes… another tiebreak. But wait… not this time.

Fed breaks his serve to close it out, 7-5. So typical. Now I’m forced to continue folding my laundry. Oy.

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Brian Wray is a writer for Writtalin. A self-proclaimed hipster who makes his home in San Diego, he recently escaped LA after working in production and casting for the past 2 years. His interests are tennis, recording music, and more tennis. Follow his various works at And Twitter him @BrianWrayMedia