“Merry Christmas!” “Happy Christmas!” “Happy Hanukkah!” “Happy Kwanzaa!” “Happy Holidays!” “Festive Pagan Solstice!” Whichever greeting you prefer this time of year, odds are, someone will be unreasonably butthurt by it. “How dare you have a different upbringing from mine…” they’ll scoff, while lumping you in with the real terrorists, with their filthy, minimalist, “war on Christmas” Starbucks cups. Damn heathens… But no matter what their self-righteous, butthurt poison, we can all agree on one thing: our friends, families, co-workers, mechanics, pets, dentists, and Jimmy John’s delivery guys have disappointed us
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