People Tag

It’s time to stop kidding ourselves.   Resolution #1: Lose weight Actual outcome: Go to the gym a couple times a week but still eat like shit and drink like a frat boy on the weekends, resulting in maybe a pound lost and regained over the course of a month. Rinse, repeat.   Resolution #2: Cook for myself and stop eating pasta and salad every night like a scrub Actual outcome: Maybe cook quinoa or lentils every once in a while. Continue to buy the Publix pre-made roasted chicken.   Resolution #3: Keep a budgetRead More

I used to think that the term “young adult” referred to Twilight novels only, but I am tired of repeatedly crediting my generation as “twenty-somethings,” so here we are. New Year’s resolutions are either a popular or vexatious topic, depending on the seriousness of the declarations and the audience’s own commitment to growth and change, but there is hardly a young adult who doesn’t use social media in some form or another. In this Near Year if you make any resolutions, I hope you dance, yes, but also that your resolutionsRead More

As the year ends, it’s time that we take stock of everything that has happened in the last 365 days and make sense of it all. Like any other year, 2014 was a time of highs and lows, ups and downs, the good and the bad. But ain’t nobody got time to focus on the bad stuff, so let’s take a look back on the BEST things we’ll remember from 2014. Here are my picks for the best of 2014.   Best Movie of 2014: Gone Girl I most certainly didRead More

There’s something about engaging in a (slightly) revolting activity in the presence of an attractive individual that is not preferable. By presence, I specifically mean sitting one inch away from a nice-looking Canadian man on an airplane, and by revolting I mean unwrapping a half-devoured, room-temperature burrito in your lap from a mock “Chipotle” in the Dallas airport and spilling black beans on your shared armrest. Excuse me, sir, care for a luke-warm lentil?  I had four more hours of traveling next to my burrito and this Canadian man andRead More

Let me preface this by saying that I have no issue with beauty pageants…or whatever the politically correct people of the Internet want to call them. If you’re beautiful with a rockin’ bod, hats off to you, my friend! However, I do take an issue with the fact that we are still pretending these beauty pageants are anything more than beauty pageants. Yes, these women are philanthropists and scholars and diplomats and general do-gooders. But first and foremost, they are beautiful. They are beautiful women, who are ALSO those otherRead More

When you’re on a date with someone and there’s a lull in the conversation, sometimes that lull grows into a black hole of silence that there is no returning from. And the more you realize it’s growing, the more you panic, the deeper you sink into the quicksand of quiet. So before it gets to the eerie point of a borderline monastic silence, you should enlist the Art of So. The Art of So is centered on the theory that people love to talk about themselves. This is usually theRead More

You know how sometimes you get text messages from friends that just kind of irritate you? Maybe it’s a hostile “K” or a passive aggressive “:)” or maybe it’s just a “hahah.” And you think, “Hahaha?” That’s not a response. Those aren’t words. Those are sounds. You sent me sounds. How am I supposed to respond to that? Right, so texting has become this enigma of conversation where we laugh, but aren’t actually laughing and send smiles when no smiles are actually occurring and that’s all fine and well becauseRead More

Remember when you placed second in that declamation contest back in sixth grade? That supporting role you played during a school event? Or that masterpiece you worked hard day and night for but wasn’t published? You know you won’t let yourself forget all those so-called mediocrities, so you just sulk in your nook and cringe your way through the day trying to convince yourself you’ll never be good enough for anything, for anyone. You get so shell-shocked with all that has been going inside your brain, thinking about every possibleRead More

Sometime after Halloween, when the radio started drowning in Christmas music and Starbucks reintroduced their eggnog latte, a ball of dread started to grow in my gut.  And it continues to grow as big as the mall Santa’s beer belly until I will be faced with the very event that inspires this trepidation: Thanksgiving dinner.  Where relatives abound and the most burning hunger is not for turkey, but for details of my personal life.  I am thankful for the wine that will help me survive their  predictable questions.  It mightRead More

I’m the type of person that will avoid conflict, confrontation, and basically, any form of criticism at all costs. As a kid, I would write notes to my parents whenever I was asking for something. Not because they were mean people, but because they might say no and I would rather receive that information from a checked box than a verbal, “Not this time, sweetheart.” I quit a job via letter once. After my boss received it, she called me and left a voicemail. I was too nervous to listenRead More

Here is a short list of valuable things people do to become losers. Listen and learn…   5. Lack Any Curiosity – People who lack curiosity don’t want to explore new avenues. If you elect to sit at home and watch The CW all day, then your life is destined to stay that way.     4. Have an Inability to Comprehend Success – My mother always said, “if you can envision something, you can make it a reality.” But losers do not even know, or care, about success.  Read More

It was one of those classic San Francisco mornings.  In other words, I was hungover and there were homeless men sleeping outside my 6-floor building downtown.  I liked where I lived.  It was “different.”  Moreover, it was my first studio apartment and when I lifted my murphy bed back into the wall, I could dance in my underwear by myself or with a special friend, depending on the day of the week.  I had left suburbia and entered a city where I could sort of see my entire future unfolding.  TheRead More

I’m getting older. Every year. Every day. Every hour. Every minute. This much is indisputable. But I often find myself questioning whether I’m actually growing up as time endlessly marches onward. What does it mean to grow up? To have adult responsibilities? I have a few of those. To be objectively mature? I probably have a ways to go; I still think prank calls are hilarious and my friends and I still laugh at things that adults shouldn’t find funny. To wake up early, work a nine-to-five, and come backRead More

In the past year, the entertainment industry has suffered the loss of renowned comedians and thespians (you know who they are). In response, general depression awareness levels were heightened on a national level. The societal fear of losing another entertainment icon (if you’re a millennial like I am, you miss the hell out of Peter Banning) has rattled the most durable of psyches, prompting those who suffer, primarily those inhabiting the vicious world of entertainment, to open up about their illness. Comedian Wayne Brady is the latest to go candid.Read More

Sometimes being short is not a big deal (ha, that pun wasn’t intended). But I’ll level with you–90% of the time it’s really annoying. Also, that pun was intended. Here’s some of the most annoying parts of being short. I couldn’t think of a pun that time.   1. That awkward moment when you can’t fully see over the steering wheel and you realize you’re basically those old ladies driving like with their hands at eye-level…   2. …And the subsequent awkward moment when you have to buy a seatRead More