struggles Tag

I close my eyes and images appear in my mind. They’re ones I haven’t conjured up. They’re immediate and ugly and ferocious — a dismembered arm, a spider crawling outwards from an eye with its silky, black legs, and a red hourglass on its belly. I can’t sleep. Sometimes I wish I was a hamster. Hamsters are nocturnal, after all, and this sleeplessness at night would then be acceptable. I take a deep breath. (The kind that cracks your spine in a few places at once, but doesn’t calm youRead More

Okay, I will never be the first person to say that getting a job when you’re allowed to is a bad thing, but I’ll also never be the person to say that getting a job is full of sunshine and rainbows and that it restores your faith in humanity, because it doesn’t– that’s a lie perpetuated by movies and TV and the occasional blogger. Nevertheless, I still have a job, for, y’know, college. To celebrate almost a full year in this particular job– whose nickname rhymes with Rickey Lee’s– I’veRead More

Look, I know I’m a writer on the internet, but sometimes I just hate the internet. Sometimes it just makes me want to kill myself and rip all my hair out at the roots. I’ve compiled a list of things I hate that you really only see on the internet, maybe to release some of my frustration. Or to make me really focused on how aggravating my non-problems are. It could go either way. 1. Click bait-y headlines Did I just use a click bait-y headline? Yes. Do they stillRead More

I’m not in the mood to write a big introduction, so too bad. #NoIntroZone (#TheyKnoooowBetter) 1. You rely on the sheer size of the internet to shield you from attention, kind of like how the last place anyone would notice you would be in a huge throng of people. Actually, it’s exactly like that. It’s paradoxical, but it works…except for when it doesn’t. 2. When it doesn’t work, you’re like, “Damn, how’d they find me?” But I mean, the answer is pretty fucking obvious. They found you in the sameRead More

You know how sometimes you get text messages from friends that just kind of irritate you? Maybe it’s a hostile “K” or a passive aggressive “:)” or maybe it’s just a “hahah.” And you think, “Hahaha?” That’s not a response. Those aren’t words. Those are sounds. You sent me sounds. How am I supposed to respond to that? Right, so texting has become this enigma of conversation where we laugh, but aren’t actually laughing and send smiles when no smiles are actually occurring and that’s all fine and well becauseRead More

Sidenote: If somebody out there is handing out jobs or free cash, hook ya girl up 1. You browsed the Craigslist “ETC” category in desperation, and now are signed up for 6 “market research studies,” none of which you’re sure are legit. Oh well, I don’t need my Social Security Number anyway, you can have it. 2. “Broke with Expensive Taste” is your anthem. 3. “I can subsist off of nothing but pasta and lentils until the next time I get paid, right?” You don’t get paid for another twoRead More

We all have that one Aunt or Grandparent that asks too many questions about your life at Thanksgiving dinner, and frankly, you don’t have the energy or care to answer them. It is annoying; it is a waste of breath; and you are most likely just going to be yelled at for whatever answer you give them, even if you’re telling them something good. You’re never right and they’re never wrong. Here are the generic, irritating and useless questions I’m sure we all have received at least once:   1.Read More

6 months ago I walked across the stage at Madison Square Garden, accepted my college diploma, and took a selfie. 6 months ago I said farewell to a place I had called home for the past four years. 6 months gone, and not a day goes by that I don’t miss the long nights turned into mornings spent with people I’ll never forget. Post-grads of the present warned us how much we’d miss college, how the real world was terrifying, boring, and all you would want to do was go back.Read More

I’ve heard many personal accounts from friends who suffer from the frequently talked-about, “Resting Bitch Face.” These friends are sick and tired of people asking them, “What’s wrong?” and telling them they need to smile more. They can’t help that their face invokes fear into every fiber of random onlookers’ being – they were just made that way. And while I can try to sympathize, I can’t say that I really understand what that’s like. Because while they’re trying to stop people from assuming they are habitually pissed off, I’mRead More

Wearing a bra is more exhausting than wearing pants. Yes, they are necessary and eventually become a regular way of life, but you have to realize we go through training for that shit.  And it is both exciting and horribly embarrassing at the same time.  The extreme blush of buying your first bra with your mother, the shy confidence that comes from having your bra strap snapped by the boys at recess–bra training really drains your emotions!  Now I wonder why I was ever excited about training for this perma-seatbeltRead More

1. Your weekend plans in the kitchen with your co-worker whose name you forget, but whose mustache crumbs you always remember. The necessity to construe a wholesome response before 8am because having morning sex and eating ramen twice in bed isn’t an acceptable answer to a person who is supposed to regard you professionally is irritating. And if you decided to make toast instead of cereal on that Friday you must engage further while he makes poor over-coffee talk about how fast weekends go by. And how it’s supposed toRead More

Sometimes being short is not a big deal (ha, that pun wasn’t intended). But I’ll level with you–90% of the time it’s really annoying. Also, that pun was intended. Here’s some of the most annoying parts of being short. I couldn’t think of a pun that time.   1. That awkward moment when you can’t fully see over the steering wheel and you realize you’re basically those old ladies driving like with their hands at eye-level…   2. …And the subsequent awkward moment when you have to buy a seatRead More

I have always felt really strongly that I know who I am. I’ve never cared what people thought of me; I wore what I wanted, I did what I wanted, I wasn’t afraid of letting my opinion be known, and I have always done what I felt was best for me. I was a bright high school student who has always fostered a love of books, and I still read voraciously. I used to draw, I painted, I constantly rearranged and redecorated my college dorm rooms and apartments into whatRead More

…If you’re a girl.   1. Provided your roommates are home, you no longer have to kill your own cockroaches. And by “kill,” I mean “trap under a cup that you weigh down with a book and wait until the roach eventually dies.” Now you get instant bug murder, and who doesn’t love that? 2. Cooking utensils of all shapes, sizes, and–more importantly–materials, go in the dishwasher willy-nilly. Am I the only person whose mom told them a million times, you can’t put Teflon in the dishwasher or else it stripsRead More

The NYC rush hour commute is a test of patience, awareness, and morality; all of which, most commuters lack. That said, it is beyond my comprehension why anyone would think occupying city sidewalks as a human roadblock at this time is a good idea. And I’m not just referring to the thousands of city goers with no concept of their surroundings either. I mean those obnoxious, tactless, less-of-a-human individuals who have made it their purpose in life to stand between commuters and their destinations. Whether it’s a comedy show orRead More