women Tag

It was eighty-four degrees in San Francisco and I was riding the bus after concurrently confessing my love and breaking up with a boy I had been dating.  On our first date I told him that my brother had brain cancer.  I had just discovered the fact myself and wasn’t sure what the protocol was for these things in regard to first dates. Was it a sit-at-home-and-panic or an attend-with-pocketed-Xanax sort of situation? The idea of distraction and a lovely, little pill that allowed me to abandon anxiety for fourRead More

1.  Make your bed. Good morning and congratulations!  You woke up again, and you only pressed snooze twice! Ever heard of the expression, “Messy bed, messy head?”  For me, this simple saying makes all the sense.  The mindless act of putting your bed together sets the tone for a productive, calm day.  It just does.  Prepare a fresh start to the day by respecting your space.  And floss your teeth while you’re at it.  People forget to do that.   2.  Smile at strangers. I once heard a wise manRead More

When it comes to questioning gender roles and the social constructs created by society, I have always felt that it creates some rift and controversy between people. Many individuals have their own opinions on race, gender, and popular culture, although I feel that the majority of people prefer to lace their viewpoints with what society deems as “right” or “normal”. I believe that everything, especially gender and race, is a very fluid and wide spectrum of ideals and options. I’m part of a program called Gender Studies, which can isRead More

Dear Uterus, We’ve had a tumultuous thirteen-year reign. I didn’t know you existed until I was marred by the woes of your lining shedding that made me wish I had a penis post-sixth grade graduation. We both know it’s unoriginal for a woman to rant about her period blood and this stigma is especially evident in the same world I whine about upper management at my company being men. So dear Uterus, I hope you appreciate the hypocrisy I am engaging in to pursue this letter to you. Thank you forRead More

Maybe you think you’re helping, but the thing is, we’re all becoming awesome individuals according to our own standards, desires, beliefs, and values. So these lists — Things That You Should Know lists, regardless of which gender it’s directed at — have to stop.  I’m far from being a Helen of Troy, but I’ve never sat at home and scratched my head (or balls), wondering what I needed to change in order to be more attractive to others.  I guess it’s cute that people are trying to help, and IRead More

There’s a certain amount of  tact present when conversing with acquaintances. These aren’t your people that arrive with vodka and a burrito when something horrid has happened to you. They are the co-workers of your friends that have a homely, three-limbed dog, or perhaps your friend’s Craigslist roommate that masturbates loudly. Sometimes you get stuck in the backseat of their cars after a group-camping expedition and you spill ketchup on their seatbelt buckle and don’t tell them. Whoever they are, you have certainly never connected with them on a personalRead More

That was the title of the article. I saw it on Facebook and instantly clicked it because…I was sitting in my room, watching re-runs of Seinfeld, eating a bowl of the kind of cereal that makes you poop, wearing my tangerine high-waisted shorts, and suddenly…regretting all of my decisions. And as it turns out, guys HATE high-waisted shorts. They think they are awkward and unflattering and should be burned at the stake. (Along with your rompers, which according to the article, look like pillowcases and your maxi-dresses, which apparently makeRead More

I’ve had three Bloody Mary’s and seventeen olives and I’m in that crater of a conversation that revolves around significant others and their brunch orders. I wish I cared what your boring boyfriend chose to eat for breakfast to accommodate his Paleo diet and stomach sensitivity to dairy, but I don’t. I would rather gag myself with the bright green straw in charge of my Bloody Mary consumption and re-eat the marbled pieces of olive after I’ve thrown them up than continue the conversation.  After this instance I realized thatRead More

Where Boys Hide Their Boners When a guy pops a boner in basketball shorts, there’s only one place to hide.  My first boyfriend taught me where boys keep their boners. One night he took me to a scenic overlook that had a view of the city which I enjoyed from the inside of my boyfriend’s mouth as we made out against a high-standing stone wall.  (That is to say, I did not actually enjoy much of the view because we were otherwise occupied). He was a giant at 6’3″ toRead More

Rebecca Makkai’s The Hundred-Year House is a stunning achievement. The story is like an archaeological dig into the history of a house with many secrets. It leaves the reader plummeting through space and time, weaving a narrative with such depth and passion that it cannot be ignored. With nods to the gothic tradition, the story is not one of ghosts, but one of the inextricable link between past and present. It is a treasure hunt on the highest order and readers will find themselves engulfed and intrigued by the twists andRead More

While good-intentioned, the article 3Things You Never Say to a  Lady is actually  in itself, if not male bafoonery, then an example of a communication breakdown.  Good for you for realizing the idiocy of some of your male peers, but if you want to treat women right then you might need to re-evaluate the reasons behind your behaviors.  Don’t change the subject about weight in order to avoid saying something you’ll regret, or passively agree for the sake of keeping the peace, or offer to pay simply because you areRead More

The whole Ray Rice thing has got me to thinking… In general, guys don’t know how to treat ladies anymore. I’m not equating every dude out there to Ray Rice by any means, but even in simple ways I see a lot of men drop the ball. I call it male bafoonery. In commercials, I see men being portrayed as patsy morons. Even walking the streets of LA (okay, from my car) I see moronic behavior. Guys not holding the door open for others, especially for women and the elderly. GuysRead More

Everything around you seems to somehow be a little bit better. Things stress you out less, you worry less about inconsequential things that used to drive you crazy, and you just generally strut around with a higher level of happiness and joviality. (And it’s driving your friends fucking crazy.) You find yourself randomly smiling like an idiot in public or at your workplace when you read text messages or emails from her. And other people are noticing and calling you out on it. Instead of worrying about what she’s goingRead More

Sex is one of those things.   One of those things that can be really good, really bad, unmistakably messy, emotionally entangling, seemingly life changing, and what you have before breakfast some days and after dinner others, like a cupcake.  And in your mid-twenties and outside of a relationship it is usually a combination of power, alcohol and nearly expired condoms that you’ve found in the kitchen drawer and that belonged to three roommates ago. Some of us were raised Catholic with the notion that the only option for our genitals was chastityRead More

Shade is an attitude, a form of expression, a lifestyle. Below are some common faces of Shade that happen on the regular, and are always #judgingyou.   1. The “…hmmm” confused shade Examples of when and where this shade could be used: – When someone is trying to push their beliefs on you. – When the teacher is explaining the upcoming assignment.     2. The “… uhh whatever..” Shade Examples of when and where this shade could be used: – When someone beat you in a debate (i.e. Amber vs.Read More