writing Tag

Record 22: Palm Springs, Thursday, July 5th, 2012. Day. Jake and his bro Ajax rode golf carts on the casino’s course every Thursday at 8pm. They never played golf. Casino and hotel patrons would often ask: “why?” The question was a fair one, says this guy here. Jake and Ajax, they didn’t like to respond to any such inquisition. Instead, they’d glare at the casino and hotel patrons from the casino and hotel bar, and when perturbed by dyspeptic tourists or slot-addicted regulars, they’d ask: “What are you doing inRead More

Rarely would I scroll to the bottom of an article to observe the mindless debauchery that occurs in the comment section. That is, until it was my own. Not too long ago, Thought Catalog published one of my articles, one that received several unwarranted and irrelevant comments. My initial shock wore off almost immediately, as I found them more comical than offensive. Kind of like watching an episode of Southpark, it’s so ridiculous that you can’t help but laugh. My personal favorite came from a commenter who identified himself asRead More

For my Firefighter, who already proved he can. Could you love a cancer patient despite my burdened health? Can you provide the love and care that my heart has never felt? Are you ready for hours spent at the hospital waiting, for news you don’t know if you’ll be loving or hating? Do you have the patience for the brain fog I possess? Or the ability to smile through my CAT scans, nonetheless? Will you research conditions I’ll develop over time, and learn the medical jargon the specialists love toRead More

I write. I give speeches. I have no fear in speaking in public, and that it because of one speech that I had to deliver at the worst time of my life. Let me explain: When I graduated from high school in 2009, my mother asked me to join a Toastmasters club with her. Toastmasters is a club for people who want to learn and improve on leadership and public speaking skills. I was 18, barely eligible to join, and learned quite a bit while there. Also that year, myRead More

Record 21: Santa Monica Pier, Monday, July 5th, 2010. Evening. Tobin and Orlando were at the pier and eating cotton candy, watching panhandlers dance and do bad magic. Tobin, a strapping young man with clean clothes and quite the sane mind, sat outside the arcade under some pretty dang cool neon lights. Neon lights. Tobin, whose age was a number, had his eyes locked on the famous Bubba Gump restaurant. Tobin had a wild hankering for some seafood. “Seafood?” Orlando’s arms were large and swollen. He wore a tanktop withRead More

  Record 20: Moraga, CA, Friday, July 5th, 2019. Night. For months now, the outsider had been dying. Six months ago this same day, folks watched as the sun set for the last time over the mountains at precisely 7:02 pm, as their iPhones had informed them. A sadness hung in the now-forever night air, inert and disarmed, and waiting. Some folks called it the apocalypse. Some called it fate. Some, global warming. None of it mattered anymore, none of the theories and predictions. The modern folks, they were notRead More

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Record 18: Disneyland, Thursday, July 5th, 2012. Day. Haven is visiting Disneyland with her family. Haven has 2 brothers. One brother’s name is Jamie. He’s 18. The other brother’s name is Hampton. He’s 19. Haven is 14. Haven’s mom is 43. Her name is Mary. Haven’s dad is 44. His name is Ned. The family is waiting in line for ‘It’s a Small World.’ Hampton checks Twitter on his iPhone. Ned checks ESPN Sportscenter on his iPhone. Jamie has a Smartphone. “You haven’t responded to my Candy Crush.” Jamie tellsRead More

  Record 17: Irvine, CA, Friday, July 5th, 2013. Day. Hey what’s up. I’m Audrina. I’m hungover from last nite when I got really drukn at Mackey’s 4th of July party at his place in Dana Point and I’m still pretty fucked up. I madeout with no one, and I don’t really wanna talk about that much lol so I won’t. But I did meet this 1 guy, and that’s like the whole story I wanna go into or whatever but right now I think I might fucking puke again.Read More

Record 16: Torrance, CA, Tuesday, July 5th, 2011. Night. I’m not going to tell you that I like what I do. I do what I do because when I do it I don’t do it poorly. So what is IT? Let’s break IT down: (note: I’m using numbers instead of letters for arbitrary reasons that I don’t feel like explaining because I write for free and explaining arbitrary reasons defeats the arbitrariness of those reasons). 1. I have sex with old women. Not older women. OLD women. 2. I don’tRead More

  Record 15: Laguna Beach, Tuesday, July 5th, 2012. Day. Axel’s parents were wealthy. They had a 3 story mansion just off the PCH with an elevator and a live-in maid they called Rosario, which wasn’t her actual name. It was a name applied to her. A name they gave her. A name she accepted because they paid her a maid’s fortune and allowed her access to the family golf cart. But this story is not about Rosario. It’s not about Axel’s parents’ 3 story elevator house that they noRead More

Record 13: Corona del Mar, Monday July 5th, 2010. Day. The waiter at Ruby’s was chewing gum. It didn’t matter that his outfit was cleanly pressed and perfect fitting. He was chewing gum, and Arendt wasn’t having it. “Just who in the hell. Am I right?” He asked. Or stated. Or maybe both? “You’re always right, Arendt.” I said, wiping sweaty bangs from my forehead, an affectation I’d developed in the 90-degree heat (with 40% humidity). “Rosie, do not placate me.” “I’m not sure you know what that word means.”Read More

Record 12: Pomona, Friday, July 5th, 2013. Day. Kenny Yamaha and I had been standing outside the Fox Theater for two hours, waiting to be let in. Kenny thought the doors opened at 7, but that was fucking wrong. I told him this a few times and he just drank his coffee, like ‘whatever man, fucking chill about it.’ So I fucking chilled about it and didn’t bring it up. Even though it’s now 8, and dark, and we’re in Pomona. Pomona fucking California. Have you ever been to PomonaRead More

Record 11: Huntington Beach, Thursday, July 5th, 2012. Day. There is a merman that lives in Huntington Beach. This man is a certified swim instructor. He teaches young children and, occasionally, old men and women the backstroke. He teaches them how to tread water. He provides them with the necessary flotation devices, should they be required (note: flotation devices are not always required. This depends, of course, upon the trainee’s swimming proficiency). This man spends his free time at the beach, donning a golden spandex merman tail. He wears thisRead More

Record 10: Eagle Rock, California, Thursday, July 5th, 2010. Day. The first time I came home, the lights were still on. The living room was desolate and cold, and that’s how I remembered it during the days when my father smoked and told me that sometimes cigarettes aren’t bad for you. “Do you have friends at school?” He’d ask me. I did, and I loved them since we kissed all the time on the monkey bars and on the swings that would break if you swung too high. I stillRead More