Some people go through life blissfully ignorant of all the horrible, disgusting germs that are literally everywhere. Other people carry the burden of constant fear, paranoia, and revulsion from living in a world contaminated by germs. These people are called Germaphobes. Germaphobes are faced with many challenges on a daily basis, as their phobia robs them of the joys that non-Germaphobes get to experience, such as… Ball pits Ah, Ball pits. Ball pits are a childhood staple of seemingly innocent fun. Wrong! Ball pits are full of heinous germs
Read MoreFor a while I’ve wanted to write about my experiences in strip clubs. I never got around to it. I was worried it would be preachy. Dumb. Boring. I requested guidance from amethyst I’d purchased from an Austin, Texas mineral shop. When the rock declined to tell me what to do, I got stoned and held a séance with dead white authors. Hemingway, the greatest of the sexually confused Modernists, appeared in a subliminal mushroom cloud the shape of two roosters crossed at the neck. E-Hem poked his ass out
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