Lessons Tag

Today is my 26th birthday. Two years ago, on my 24th birthday, I wrote a list of the 24 lessons life had taught me in 24 years. So, on this, my 26th birthday, I would like to amend and add to that list. Some things change, some stay the same. Here’s what 26 years on this planet have taught me: 1. Don’t drink shitty beer. If it ain’t craft-brewed, it likely tastes like horse piss. 2. Not everyone finds offensive jokes funny. Some people find them offensive. These people suck, though.Read More

6 months ago I walked across the stage at Madison Square Garden, accepted my college diploma, and took a selfie. 6 months ago I said farewell to a place I had called home for the past four years. 6 months gone, and not a day goes by that I don’t miss the long nights turned into mornings spent with people I’ll never forget. Post-grads of the present warned us how much we’d miss college, how the real world was terrifying, boring, and all you would want to do was go back.Read More

I was four-years-old when I came to the realization that I couldn’t read. Of course, at that point, I never could read, but it was at this age that I became acutely aware that I couldn’t read and that everyone else could. My mom could. My dad could. My eleven-year-old sister could. It was basically all the guy on Reading Rainbow could talk about… Why couldn’t I? So I did what any four-year-old would do and I asked my mom, “When will I know how to read?” My mom wasn’t entirelyRead More

I’ve never been a big fan of “the birthday.”  While I certainly appreciate the extra love on Facebook from people I haven’t seen since Myspace was the accepted social network, I just don’t feel the need to be celebrated for a full 24 hours.  What did I accomplish?  Being born?  Shouldn’t you be sending wishes to the woman who went through horrific labor in order to literally squeeze me out into this world?  I mean, really.  Nonetheless, regardless of how undeserving I may feel of the cakes and checks, I can’tRead More

Where Boys Hide Their Boners When a guy pops a boner in basketball shorts, there’s only one place to hide.  My first boyfriend taught me where boys keep their boners. One night he took me to a scenic overlook that had a view of the city which I enjoyed from the inside of my boyfriend’s mouth as we made out against a high-standing stone wall.  (That is to say, I did not actually enjoy much of the view because we were otherwise occupied). He was a giant at 6’3″ toRead More

Last week, I was in Las Vegas. I was in Las Vegas for five nights too long…and by that, I mean I was in Las Vegas for five nights. As a problem gambler and a party-loving idiot, being in Vegas at all was probably a terrible choice. But during my time in Vegas, I learned a few valuable lessons which I would like to impart onto the rest of you.   Bribery ALWAYS Works Going to Vegas with a group of five dudes and one girl, our odds for gettingRead More

Dear Awkward Teenager, I’m staring my late-twenties in the face, but I still couldn’t tell you the details of their anatomy. It’s funny how I still manage to daydream the way you do during 4th period only to be awoken by the lunch bell. So much changes, but so much stays the same. Trust me on this, sometimes it’s best to just embrace the unknown as opposed to finding out the answers immediately. Honestly, some questions or prayers will go unanswered for what seems like an eternity, but that’s onlyRead More

Growing up, most adults will tell you how you need to experience the world while you’re young and that now is the time to travel the world. I’ve always wondered: what’s the rush? Is it really that bad to travel once you’ve settled down? Why would you only want to experience the world while you’re young? And I think I’ve finally figured it out. We live in a generation where we millennials seem to have it easy. We get the chance to experience life; go to college; fall in love aRead More

Since I was a child, one of the most important life matters to me has been traveling the world. I am lucky enough to have lived and taught abroad, and although the list of countries I want to visit is longer than the list of countries I have been, I have learned much from street food consumption, peeing in holes in the ground, and sleeping in hostels with kittens, mosquitos, and Austrian men.  The following lessons may be clouded by my personal experiences, but they are an assemblage of advice thatRead More

Both of my parents went to college.  They understood the importance of getting the piece of paper at the end of it all that said you were now qualified to do more jobs than if you just had a lesser piece of paper that you received when you graduated from high school.  That used to be the case.  People would go to college because they knew that in doing so, they would open up doors for themselves in the future that would not be opened in any other way.  ManyRead More

Miss USA has come and gone, and the internet remains full of criticism and confusion about the world of pageantry. It’s forever tainted by Honey Boo Boo and Miss Teen South Carolina ’07. Women either love it or they hate it. Men either love it or they. . .love it. Most people don’t understand what draws women to compete. And I’m just over here eating ice cream and looking back on my glory days. No matter how you feel about the pageants, I promise they’ve got a lot to offer–MoreRead More

My first semester of college, I worked at a chain coffee and bagel café. I have always affirmed that every person needs to work in food service at least once in their lifetime. It is difficult to express how exceptionally vital it is that people understand the toil behind where their services come from, and the crucial nature of treating workers with respect. I have also always held the belief that every person needs to work at least one “crappy job” in their life to fully understand the value ofRead More

Every summer growing up, I escaped to camp in the woods, where my world transformed into a sky of glitter, aromas of marshmallows, and sun-kissed days of carefree fun. Camp was the one time I could forget about the stresses of “reality;” where I looked forward to waking up at 7AM, where I could belt silly songs and dress in costume every day with a community of others who did the same. Most of all, camp was where I met some of my lifelong friends, because truly, nothing bonds peopleRead More

As I walked into lecture today, to my surprise, I noticed that my professor, who is regarded so highly in the world of academia, decided to use Comic Sans on the lecture slides. Believe me, it took every ounce of self-control within me to not walk right out then and there. Professor, I respect you immensely as an intellect, and you are far more learned that I may ever be. However, let me tell you exactly why I can’t take you seriously with Comic Sans: Some may say Comic SansRead More

Today is my 24th birthday. What better way is there to celebrate than to make a listicle of all the important things I’ve learned in my 24 years on this planet? Without further ado, here are some of the key lessons I’ve learned thus far in life:   1. Not everyone finds offensive jokes funny. Some people find them offensive. 2. Never buy drinks at sporting events or concerts. Pocket shots and flasks are your wallet’s best friends. 3. Your parents actually have good advice, at least most of theRead More