There is no sensation quite like the anticipation of imminent departure. I remember my final week at home before returning to college, each morning awaking next to friends I cared about deeply. It would be 7am, the sunlight freckled across our statuesque faces—our arms in legs entangled in a silent refusal to move and an unspoken plea to stay. Then, the sudden jolt of our rainforest alarms, the slam on the 15-minute snooze. The lethargic, reluctant roll over to friends on each side—groggily, but oh, so acutely, understanding that our
Read MoreIt’s our anniversary but I’m experiencing it without you. August 18th marks the day we parted ways; you for a destination that people consider to be a “better place,” and me to a place that I have not found yet. I hope your taste buds are delighting in a huge bowl of ice cream right now because that was our sacred ritual. Honestly, ice cream makes everything better; if only we could be savoring each bite with one another the way we used to do. Our separation was one of
Read MoreDistance will forever be the main problem in my life. I’m a searcher. By distancing myself from the familiar, the tsunami of transition leaves me with a flood of new opportunities. By driving away from the city, I can finally breathe. The stars are visible now that I’m away from the smog. When making a college decision, I chose one halfway across the country—a convenient 750 miles away. When the walls of my perfect suburban hometown became too small for my liking, I bolted for what I called a “bigger
Read MoreLately, I’ve come in contact with people of my past, with pictures of my past, and with random Facebook pokes from people of my past. Just like any other individual, I am drawn to the magnet that my past holds and it’s hard to break away. I remind myself that the past is there for a reason. So here’s a letter to the thing that keeps tapping me on the shoulder: Dear Past, Let’s get things straight. I have started a whole new life since you and I have
Read MoreEvery summer growing up, I escaped to camp in the woods, where my world transformed into a sky of glitter, aromas of marshmallows, and sun-kissed days of carefree fun. Camp was the one time I could forget about the stresses of “reality;” where I looked forward to waking up at 7AM, where I could belt silly songs and dress in costume every day with a community of others who did the same. Most of all, camp was where I met some of my lifelong friends, because truly, nothing bonds people
Read MoreEvery month ends and then a new month starts and soon enough it’s the month that ended starting all over again. Beginnings and ends mean moves and changes and hellos and goodbyes– some of them are accompanied by relief, some sadness, some panic, some sheer joy and others apathetic. The end of this month means I’ll be moving out of 4L – my Craigslist apartment. Over the past four months, this random gem of an apartment in Astoria has been graced by the presence of myself, the man who owns the
Read MoreThis is a period of time many “experts” like to classify as “emerging adulthood.” It sounds more glorious than it actually is. Unfortunately, “well adjusted” is a label we like to give ourselves for a few years of happy delusion. As young adults, we still feel everything (those teen hormones still need a Xanax), but now, we’re forcing ourselves to deal with situations in a “grown-up” manner. The Kübler-Ross model describes the 5 steps of loss and grief to be denial, anger, bargaining, depression, then acceptance. But we’re young adults, so
Read MoreWe all have things that we try to hold on to. Sometimes we do it because we think it’s what we are supposed to do. Sometimes we do it out of habit. Sometimes we do it out of fear. What we don’t realize however, is that holding onto something that we are not meant to hold on to can potentially guide us from the course we should actually be taking in life. Holding on to things that we need to let go of can attach us to our past like
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