Posted On May 15, 2014 By In Advice For Women, Girlzone

It’s Okay to Let Go: Why Holding on Can Do More Damage than Good


We all have things that we try to hold on to. Sometimes we do it because we think it’s what we are supposed to do. Sometimes we do it out of habit. Sometimes we do it out of fear.  What we don’t realize however, is that holding onto something that we are not meant to hold on to can potentially guide us from the course we should actually be taking in life. Holding on to things that we need to let go of can attach us to our past like a magnet, never letting us advance towards our future and what we really want to achieve out of life. As much as it may threaten to hurt us temporarily, every now and then you just have to make the cut. Rip the Band-Aid off; you may feel the sting for a moment, but after you get a chance to air it out and feel the freedom that it gives you, it can really change your life. You are not obligated to stay friends with someone just because you have been friends since before you can remember, and you don’t have to stay in a relationship with someone just because he is your high school sweetheart. People change and they grow apart, but it isn’t anything to feel guilty about and drag on unnecessarily.

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Surround yourself with people that make you happy.

If your friends make you miserable, get new friends. If you aren’t happy in your relationship, break up. I am not by any means saying that at the first sign of turmoil you should run for the hills and never look back, but if it is something that doesn’t feel like it can be fixed in your heart, then most likely it won’t be. If you find yourself contemplating removing someone from your life more than once, it is probably something that needs to be done. Don’t waste time dragging something out that you shouldn’t. Once you finally get the courage to act upon it all you will realize is that you should have done it sooner. Do not waste valuable time that could have been spent otherwise.

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Be with those who get your blood pumping.

Let’s say that you go out with your friends and all you can think about is when you will be able to go home and finish watching House of Cards on Netflix. You may even be on a date with your significant other and you find that you don’t even have anything to talk to them about. This is a problem. Why waste time being with someone that you can’t fabricate a conversation with? Be with people who get your blood rushing and your adrenaline flowing. Be in a relationship with someone who makes you feel alive and makes your heart race. Have interesting friends that rock your world and leave footprints in your heart. Be with people who give you the memories that your grandchildren will want to hear about. Do not settle for mediocrity.

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Build your support system.

Some of your most valuable assets that you can obtain on your journey to success are the people that help to build you up and get you there. Keep people in your life that believe in you and what you want to achieve. If there are any doubters, you will be better off without them anyways. If you surround yourself with people who believe in you and maybe even share the same dream as you, it can have astronomical effects. In reality, life is rarely ever easy, and it can be even more difficult for someone who wants to be extraordinary. Having the right people that you can trust and have in your corner when the going gets tough can really increase your odds of crossing over those mountains.

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Speaking of trust…

Once it’s broken, can we ever really trust someone again? Although we may say that we will try and we may even give it our best shot, it never really happens does it? You find out that your significant other has cheated on you, or that your best friend has lied to you…As much as you can try to fix what has been broken, trust is just one of those things that can never be completed mended. Depending on the damage done, it can be better to sweep things to the side, than to try to pick them up and temporarily hold them together with glue.

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You are just different people.

As we grow up we change. Our interests change, our priorities change, and our dreams change. When this happens, people that you may have once been close to before can tend to drift away. There may not actually be a real definite problem to your relationship or friendship other than the fact that things are just simply different than they used to be. You may just be different than you used to be. In a situation like this, there may not be a need for completely severed ties, but instead you just need to remove people from the front lines of your life. Let’s take it all the way back to your “Myspace Top 8”. Your top 8 were always the people that you were closest to: best friends, boyfriend/girlfriend, maybe a family member. These were the people of your inner circle, but you still had all of your other “friends” too. You know, the people who you would comment and say happy birthday to, and occasionally exchange words with here and there. As you progress in life, sometimes the people you find are dearest to you just need a little rearranging. Just because they were important to you at one point in your life, does not mean that they will remain that way forever.



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Ashley is a special events coordinator and writer, as well as a student at the University of Pittsburgh. She can be described as an ocean of "awesomeness" as some would say. She aspires to be rich and travel to various destinations around the world. Until then, she tends to live her life by the idea that Netflix is always a good excuse.