Finding love- one of the ultimate journeys we take during our lifetime. Some people have success early on their lives, before online dating became mainstream or even before smart phones were the norm. Now people are connected to their phones and going without it for even a few hours is considered “going off the grid.” We manage funds through it, exchange money between friends, call a personal transportation service, and even potentially meet our soul mate. When I first moved to a new city, I decided to give OKCupid a
Read MoreI’ve been here before; it’s an old familiar corner, an imaginary coalition — The Sad Girls Club. It exists solely for the sads that sprout from nothing. Pounding hearts, jaws that clench, minds barren of rational thought and practicality, as one cries as hard as the shower water comes down and tries to get it together enough to shave an armpit (or two). This exists in me and in the small veins in my temple, and the large veins in my opposite elbows, and it holds a weight that I
Read MoreI want to lie on the grass. I need to be connected to something that isn’t people buzzing, or the untangling of old loves in written form, both analytical and emotional — twenty-three pages long. To something that isn’t death, or tension, or burdens that don’t belong to me, but that I’ll carry strong and true. Is this how Holden felt? Is this how a mental break begins? One moment you’re in a museum and the next you must lie on the grass. (No matter if 6,787.5 dogs have urinated
Read MoreDear Sir, I’m not scared. I know how it begins, at least. San Francisco isn’t synonymous with shy. There’s a lack of permanence to this city that must exist in the fog. It will fall apart. It will end. When? I don’t know. It’s never predictable. I’m not scared of you, this time, your skinny frame. Yes, you’re another one. You have a Southern accent. And beard stubble that scrapes my chin. And one of your front teeth is quite charming in its crookedness. Your vocabulary is more advanced than
Read MoreYou’ve cried. You’ve consumed more pints of ice cream than anyone with a slight dairy allergy should. You’ve watched Sex and the City, the movie, seven times, but only until Mr. Big leaves Carrie at the altar, er, the New York library. You’ve empathized with her complete emotional demolishment while she has a weird piece of bird jewelry on her head. You’ve fully mastered the art of sleeping in the center of the bed, but you still haven’t done your laundry because you know there are three of his shirts
Read MoreThe best story ever told was between someone’s fingertip and their beloved’s skin- a love story of some sort or the tale of two individuals coming together. The only thing more epic than the beginning of a love story is the ending- the final touch or the end of the caress. In today’s society, it seems as though the only thing being touched is the screen on a smart phone to start a text message, and sometimes, the ending of an affair isn’t even granted that courtesy. From my dating
Read MoreYou’d kiss me at the front door — lips cold from a few blocks walk with San Francisco wind, your cigarette boy sweater lingering on your shoulders. I have to wonder now, how many times did you fuck me right after? How many times did you throw pillows on my floor like plates meant to break afterwards? Right after you addressed her emotional bids? Her tears? With one of your “infamous pep talks”? How many of your ‘I love you’s were straddled between messages to her, affirming your ex-girlfriend’s needs through
Read MorePeople are people are people. They say things they don’t mean, they write “heartfelt” expressions of affection they don’t ever want you to fulfill, but they always, always, blame you when the expressions of affection are fulfilled, and it usually just leads to sad people everywhere and annoyed people in between. People are people are people, but why do the rest of us have to pay for the insensitivities of most? You know someone like this. These insensitive people show their faces around the end of things. They’ve been on
Read MoreWhen I think about what a person wants to read about, what is entertaining, slightly taboo and not attainable every day, what takes effort, has a distinct scent and is not an article about relationships about Bruce, I mean Caitlyn Jenner, I can only think of one thing. If we were stripped of our societal normalcies: Tinder, kombucha, and brunch, it would still play a prevalent role in our lives. Birds do it. Bees do it. Fourteen-year-old boys wonder when they’ll do it. Twenty-four year old men do it like
Read MoreWe’re all looking for love, but ladies, we’ve been looking in the wrong places!! It’s time to get practical and kill two birds with one stone. Your love life can be romantic and functional. Set yourself up for success and get the most out of your relationships! Here are some men to consider being attracted to: The Mechanic Mechanics have a reputation for being sleazy and giving you the go-around. I know as much about open heart surgery as I do about cars, so it’s pretty easy to deceive
Read MoreAll’s fair in love in your twenties where rules are meant to be broken and mistakes are meant to be made (except where condoms are concerned). I’m officially past the point that’s considered “mid-twenties,” by numerical definition — as “mid” generally signifies, um, the middle of something. I haven’t had a one-night stand with a narcissistic writer with mommy issues, and an awful name like, let’s say, Donald, in awhile. (This may have something to do with having a boyfriend who smokes cigarettes after Sunday morning hikes. The one with
Read MoreI’ve been in low places, like on the floor — in a matching sweat suit that wasn’t mine. While crying and kicking my feet, a teensy bit, like a two year-old in the peak of his tantrum. And the matching sweat suit was gray and didn’t belong to me and was the kind you purchase at Target in the men’s section for $11.99. And it belonged to my decently androgynous roommate who dated a pretty androgynous woman who wore the same kind of underwear. And when they walked by on
Read MoreHe had a strong jaw with an athletic build. He seemed endearing and kind, but with a bit of an edge to him also. We were members of corporate America and walked the same streets of the city. I liked what I saw, so I swiped right. It was a match! It wasn’t until afterwards that I realized I probably should’ve swiped left. We chatted and sent normal people messages, an idea so foreign in the Tinder realm. He would be the first guy I might actually meet from this
Read MoreMy third grade self had planned on getting married when I was twenty and having children when I was twenty-two. (Even then I knew I would need at least a year of designated binge drinking before being responsible for another human). I was going to be a writer when I grew up and I was going to live by the beach. I loved the beach. It was inconceivable to me that there might be restrictions to the planning of these life events. It might be hard to find a husband.
Read MoreI am in a transition phase. One where I’m not single, but I’m not in a relationship either. This means that I do not want a boyfriend, or someone exclusive, or a relationship for a long, long time. I am at that point in my life where I actually need to focus on me. I barely came out of my last relationship in one piece so I need to work on putting myself back together, and figuring out who I am. It is for this reason, and this reason only,
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