Posted On August 11, 2014 By In Television

Ex-NFL Stars Join The Biggest Loser — Who Else Deserves a TV Spot?


NBC recently announced the Season 16 cast of its hit show The Biggest Loser. This season’s theme: “Glory Days”. The cast is made up of 20 former athletes, including former Olympic gold medalists, standout college athletes and ex-NFL players Scott Mitchell and Damien Woody. Evidently Mitchell has put on about 130lbs since his QB days and Damien Woody’s growing tired of his burly linesman’s figure.

I know there are a hell of a lot of other NFL players that will need some Biggest Loser treatment after their careers come to an end (I’m looking at you, Wilfork and Raji) but this BL talk got me thinking about all of the other television shows that past and present NFL stars belong on. For instance:


Mark SanchezWipeout, for obvious reasons

sanchez butt fumble



Victor Cruz & Joe FauriaDancing With the Stars, because Fauria’s ‘Bye Bye Bye’ is pretty spot-on, and Cruz’s hips don’t lie



Julian Edelman – Next Food Network Star. Between Smoothie Tyme and Burger Tyme, Edelman has established himself as a master chef and show host




Josh Brown – The Voice, because his performance in this MetLife National Anthem commercial is pretty angelic.



Rob GronkowskiCake Boss. Except, the other kind of cake…

Gronk Partying Manziel

Side note: You may notice that Johnny Football is also in this photo. He and Gronk may be on their way to The Ultimate Cake Off

Johnny White Sox




Tom Brady Little Miss Perfect. No explanation needed.

Tom Brady Stetson




Peyton & Eli ManningAmerica’s Got Talent, because this shit entertains me.

Manti Te’oPunk’d (Womp womp)

Manti Teo



Joe FlaccoThe Muppet Show. Because, well…

Joe Flacco Muppets




Aaron HernandezCops (Guest appearances by Michael Vick & Ray Lewis)





Danny Woodhead, Wes Welker, Danny Amendola, Maurice Jones-Drew, and Darren Sproles  Little People, Big World…Sorry guys.





BONUS: Who knows if this dude will ever make it to the NFL, But Kentucky DT Corey Johnson definitely belongs on My Strange Addiction: The Porcelain Throne.

Have a few ideas of your own? That’s what the comment section’s for, man!

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Shannon Folsom is a writer for Writtalin. She is a recent graduate of The University of Maine with a B.S. in Psychology and an unofficial MA in Snow Fort Design. A former national pageant titleholder and fantasy football champion, Shannon often wonders whether she belongs in the Girlzone or the Manzone, but always accepts her position in the Friendzone. Her interests include cooking, singing, traveling, working out, taking ugly selfies, and downloading funny cat pictures. Give her some of your tots. You can contact Shannon at: [email protected]