Sometimes being short is not a big deal (ha, that pun wasn’t intended). But I’ll level with you–90% of the time it’s really annoying. Also, that pun was intended. Here’s some of the most annoying parts of being short. I couldn’t think of a pun that time.
1. That awkward moment when you can’t fully see over the steering wheel and you realize you’re basically those old ladies driving like with their hands at eye-level…
2. …And the subsequent awkward moment when you have to buy a seat cushion from Bed Bath & Beyond to use as a booster seat so you can see properly.
3. When you’re at the grocery store and you can’t reach the chick peas on the top shelf and you look around but there’s nobody else in the aisle to help you, so you resign yourself to another chick pea-less week.
4. When you have to stand on a step stool just to be able to put your dishes away properly. Seriously, why do they build shelves 7 feet up in the air? Who can reach that shit?!
5. When you straighten your hair, put on a tight-ass, cutout dress and your tallest heels, and you show up to the pregame and your friends say you look “so cute.” Bitch, if I was going for cute I would’ve put on a babydoll dress and drawn fake freckles on my cheeks. Tell me I’m hot, dammit!
6. When you try on a crop top and you’re like, “Uh, this is just a regular top?”
7. When your boss is in dire need of someone to crawl through a tight space and retrieve classified company documents, so it’s finally your time to shine…oh wait, the only time that happened was on an episode of Arthur.
8. When you walk through a middle school or a playground (or a middle school playground) and the kids are taller than you.
9. Speaking of driving (again), when you’re driving an the sun’s in your eyes and putting down the sun visor doesn’t help since it doesn’t actually reach down low enough to block anything at eye-level. I really hate driving, okay?!
10. When you see a friend you haven’t seen in a while and they’re like, “Hey wait, did you get taller??” I haven’t gotten taller since that time in 6th grade when I grew 3 inches in 1 year. Fuck you.