Posted On June 30, 2014 By In Internet, The Scene

5 Snapchat Don’ts


Everyone using Snapchat has those friends who send out excessive amounts of Snapchats every day. If you are one of those annoying assholes people, you are in luck. This article will help you refrain from sending the Snapchats that make everyone watch for the first second and click to skip to the next dumb ass Snapchat story.


The “It’s only 11 a.m. and I’m drunk” Snap

You’re really not that cool. We all woke up at 8 A.M a few times (most Saturdays) in college still drunk off our asses and decided to just delay the hangover until the next day. It’s probably a special occasion for you to black out before noon, but if you went to a party school prestigious collegiate institution like I did, this is nothing new. Try 9 before 9 and then we’ll talk, Hot Shot.


The “What I’m eating today” Snap

This one should go without saying. I’m probably not the only one who thinks you’ve put on a few pounds since freshman year of college. Now I have the ability to see every carb and gram of sugar that you don’t need to put in your body. I just wish I could replay those snaps when you ask me, “Do you think this makes me look fat?”


The “Look at me! I’m working out” Snap

I work out too. I want people to think I don’t have to work for this body and I just naturally look this good. I don’t want everyone to know I have to run for 45 min every morning and restrict myself to a kale salad with lemon juice every day for lunch. Just because you work out once in a while, doesn’t mean you’re a fitness inspiration to the world. Go study for your Kinesiology midterm.


The 15 “I’m seeing (insert DJ) tonight ” Snap Videos

I get that you’re excited. I like seeing DJs live too. I don’t Snapchat my entire contact list about it. That’s awesome that you paid $100 to see someone play with a computer. I can’t even hear the music over the loud bass that just blew out my iPhone speaker. Plus, now everyone knows that you finally found Molly.


The “Healthy meal I made for dinner” Snap

Good for you. You finally decided to walk next door and ask your neighbor for instructions on how use the stove. We don’t care that after gaining 25 lbs in college you finally looked in the mirror. I, however, am glad you decided to be healthy and copy a healthy recipe off of the Food Network. But….I know you’re still sneaking to the fridge at night, when no one is awake, to get 8 scoops of Rocky Road.

Let’s make the Snapchat experience better as a whole and only send things to your Snap Story that people may actually enjoy watching.

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Anthony is a graduate of UCSB who spends most of his waking hours working as an accountant and trying to find a better career path. On the weekend he studies for upcoming CPA exams he hopes to one day pass, but usually gets distracted and writes articles like the one you just read skimmed. He is very critical of the world, however does not judge people’s decisions unless it comes to consuming calories.