children Tag

Dear Mommy,   I’m sorry I don’t write more often, but it’s difficult to put a pen to paper or tap the keys on my laptop at times when I think of you. It’s almost Christmas and that was always your favorite holiday. You decorated the house the day after Halloween before disregarding Thanksgiving went mainstream. You were always ahead of the trends. This will be the third Christmas without you, but the first one that I’ll say out loud, “Mommy’s not coming back.”   I thought about you today.Read More

I may not have you yet, and am not in a position to have you this year or even the next. But I do know that I will love you when I do.  I envision us during the holiday season, my son playing with action figures by the fireplace, my daughter playing with a new doll. And if it is my daughter playing with action figures, and my son cradling a new doll, I know I will be just as happy.  Although I can’t guarantee exactly how your lives willRead More

Every summer growing up, I escaped to camp in the woods, where my world transformed into a sky of glitter, aromas of marshmallows, and sun-kissed days of carefree fun. Camp was the one time I could forget about the stresses of “reality;” where I looked forward to waking up at 7AM, where I could belt silly songs and dress in costume every day with a community of others who did the same. Most of all, camp was where I met some of my lifelong friends, because truly, nothing bonds peopleRead More

As I walked into lecture today, to my surprise, I noticed that my professor, who is regarded so highly in the world of academia, decided to use Comic Sans on the lecture slides. Believe me, it took every ounce of self-control within me to not walk right out then and there. Professor, I respect you immensely as an intellect, and you are far more learned that I may ever be. However, let me tell you exactly why I can’t take you seriously with Comic Sans: Some may say Comic SansRead More

I think I finally understand how the Trix Rabbit feels. Earlier today I was peeling a mandarin orange–otherwise known as a Cutie–and I noticed a little sticker that read, “Cuties are for kids!” So, is that a requirement? Are some angry children going to run after me demanding I hand over the Cuties? I find myself asking the same questions that poor rabbit asked regarding his colorful bowl of Trix. Why can’t I have a Cutie? Why do only kids get to indulge in their juicy deliciousness? Little a$$holes, nobodyRead More

One of the worst feelings in the world is to be surrounded by a bunch of small children. This can happen just about anywhere, anytime. But since school is on its way out for the summer, it is time to watch your back if you are planning to use a public swimming pool. Here’s why:   Kids Love Swimming A human being’s first love affair is with the pool. Kids love this stuff! They are like cats on a scratching post, or cocaine addicts when they see a line. TheyRead More

If you have older AND younger siblings, you’ve undoubtedly heard time and again about the woes of being the ‘middle child.’ According to psychologists and parenting magazines, we middle kids are often lost in the mess of life between the excitement of the oldest children and the sentimentality connected with the ‘babies’ of the family. We supposedly get less attention, feel left out, and crave validation. You hear that, moms and dads? Life is hard out there for us middle kids. Although some of these things might be true, thoseRead More

I would like to thank YouTube’s Bored Shorts TV for confirming my belief that children are tiny life coaches. The YouTube channel’s ‘Kid Snippets’ have brought me an incredible amount of entertainment in recent days. They’ve also reminded me of following: It’s important to be encouraging and make your feedback constructive. There are certain things you should always look for when voting for a presidential candidate. Fire can be good and bad. Also, it’s important to make the best out of every situation, no matter how awful. Speeding is wrong,Read More

When I began to talk to, well, anyone who would talk to me about their American Girl Dolls, there was one common theme among women—not the wealth of American history obtained from their 18-inch-tall childhood friends, but the response, “No I didn’t have (insert blonde doll’s name), she was a b*tch, I had (insert different doll’s name), the cool one.” Which brings me to my question, why the hell did my mom buy me an American Girl Doll? The original American Girls—Samantha, Kirsten, and Molly—arrived on the market in 1986Read More