I may not have you yet, and am not in a position to have you this year or even the next. But I do know that I will love you when I do. I envision us during the holiday season, my son playing with action figures by the fireplace, my daughter playing with a new doll. And if it is my daughter playing with action figures, and my son cradling a new doll, I know I will be just as happy. Although I can’t guarantee exactly how your lives will play out, there are a few things I know I can promise you.
I promise to never lie to you. While there will absolutely be times when the truth will be more difficult, I promise you that my telling you that tough truth will always be in your best interest. With that said, I promise to never use the phrase “because I said so” with you or stop you from asking questions. If something doesn’t make sense to you, you will have ever opportunity to ask questions. You might not always agree with me, but I will never leave a question unanswered.
I promise to never compare you against each other. I promise to never show deference to the one of you that might be more academic, or the child whose personality is more similar to mine. I promise to always take the time to learn about your interests, and to listen to YOU. You are valuable and important, and this is something that I will never let you forget.
I promise to remain interested in your life, but I will never invade your privacy. I will respect your rights to privacy as you grow up. That being said, I will definitely “know things” I might not always tell you about. I will likely know about your drinking, the guy or girl you don’t want me to know about yet, or that you are upset with a friend. I promise to always keep the lines of communication open, so you can tell me if you want to. But I promise to never force you to.
I promise to provide you with healthy boundaries, but never unnecessary limits. Never will I ask you to choose between me and a dream job in a beautiful part of the world, a chance to immerse yourself in culture, and the opportunity to follow your dreams. But I will remind you that no matter what happens, no matter how far you go and for how long, there will never come a time when you will not be welcome in your childhood home. I don’t know when I will meet you, or where I will be when I meet you, but I can’t wait for whenever that is.