Natalie Portman Tag

Posted On April 22, 2014By Ascher RobbinsIn Girls, Manzone

Wifeable Celebrities: A New Hope

It’s been a rough two years, boys and girls. You see, I finally found out that these girls I loved didn’t love me back, after all. It was a slow, painful realization that the objects of my affection wanted to commit themselves to other men instead of me. Tragic. Yup, in the last two trips ’round the sun, I had to face facts and realize that I would never marry Natalie Portman, Keira Knightley, or Mila Kunis. It was brutal. First, Natalie – the epitome of class and poise –Read More
Everyone knows the difference between the cute girl who lives next door and the idiot with bolt -ons at the end of the bar.  One makes you keep dummy mail in your mailbox so you can pretend to check it every time you hear her car pull up and the other makes you want to slam woo woos with her until you can’t remember your name and then go partake in some sweaty debauchery.  But these women are neither of those and nowhere in between.  These beautiful women define class and sophistication. Rashida JonesRead More