Posted On June 30, 2014 By In Dating For Women, Girlzone

The 5 Things Your Ex is Thinking


After a breakup we all wonder, “What is my ex thinking about?” This is not only a female mindset but an across the board irrational thinking phase, if you will. For a little while after a breakup it is healthy to grieve and normal to catch yourself hoping he is thinking about you, but after a while it gets old and ugly. So to save some time and help those of you stuck somewhere between breakup and the break down, here is the general of what all exes are thinking.

1. Is she thinking about me?

Whether it ended with a restraining order or two solemn but calm hearts, anyone in a relationship more than a few months wonders this after a breakup. He wants to know what you are up to and if he in any way had an impact on it by cause of breakup or the relationship itself. You also want to know if you’re on his mind and for what reason you might be there. 

2. Are we going to get back together?

This is the age old question that all breakers and breakees are thinking, but it’s not only them. He’s thinking it, you’re thinking it, even parents, friends, and social media stalkers are thinking it. This question is the most unhealthy thought space to consider. He is thinking it for one of two reasons. 1. He misses you and is thinking up ways to win you back. 2. Because he is supposed to, according to social convention, and is waiting around until you makes a move because he’s got nothing better to do. Always call the answer a no in your own head until it has actually become a yes in the real world; it saves more heartbreak and questions. You have all your own reasons to be asking this, a one of them may be desperation. Be most aware of this one and head for a girls’ weekend sans cell phone if you feel a wave a desperation coming on.     

3. Is she sleeping with anyone else?

This one you’re definitely thinking more than your ex. What’s the right amount of time to wait? Should I wait until I know he is with someone else before I am? He’s not thinking more than, “I bet my junk is bigger than his.” And unless you are plotting some devious scheme to get back with him, which I don’t suggest, you shouldn’t worry about it either. In the odd case that he is considering this one as much as you are, you may have actually found a decent one. I am not saying that men are awful or bad or whatever men may take poorly from this. What I am saying is that men their twenties are even more lost in their lives than women.   

4. Eff her man.

Even if he is still head over heels for you, there are going to be some angry thoughts because you are a heartbreaker; you broke his heart and now that he has passed the moping stage, he’s pissed. Even if it’s not real pissed, just pretend, he needs that bad attitude to go make out with girls at his friend’s party and start getting over your beautiful face. This has to be the most simple one. 

5. Nothing

He’s a man and odds are, he’s also young. Young plus male equals questionable emotions. If his heart just wasn’t in it anymore, then it wasn’t and he saw his reason to leave. If you did the breaking, he sat brokenhearted for a while but cut his losses and moved on. This isn’t all men, but most have a clear idea of when something just isn’t working. We shouldn’t take these quick separations to heart; we should learn to do the same. And that’s why number five is nothing. There is nothing more to think about. The relationship ended and the chapter has closed. Memories of it will cross his mind, but he is no longer wasting his time or brain power trying to figure out what went wrong, and neither should you.  

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Allison currently attends CU Boulder and works as a late night bartender. Her time is spent writing(especially poetry), playing N64, traveling, and hunting for under appreciated literature. She hopes to grow up to be an editor or work in publishing.