Girlzone Category

My life is hard, okay? 1. I was starving but there was nothing in my fridge that I actually wanted to eat. 2. I really had to pee but was too lazy to get up. 3. Photoshop caused all the programs I was running to move too fucking slow. 4. They were doing construction for the 17 billionth time on the one road I take to work (seriously, at this point just let it be), making me at least 10 minutes later than I might have been otherwise. 5. TheRead More

In high school, my business teacher and now close companion taught me to never dress down. She is one of the most fashionable and beautiful people I have ever met. She would say, “You never know who you’re going to meet,” and I took those words to heart. People always ask me why I dress up every day for class or even on lazy Sundays. The truth is, I love wearing old sweatshirts and baggy pants just as much as the next person; I just know you can get moreRead More

In this generation, dinner dates are very rare now unless you are in a relationship with the person. But, for those who are still firm believers in ’em, join the club. I recently went on a date that was complete crap – all because of what the person was eating. He ordered large wings with tons of sauce and extra ranch on the side. As he bit into the wing, the sauce was in the corner of his mouth and on his upper lip.  He was sucking and licking hisRead More

-Sage Kotsenburg- Twitter: @sagekotsenburg Instagram: sagekotsenburg Known for: Winning a gold medal in the Olympics, being a badass snowboarder.   -Sage is a gorgeous snowboarder from Park City, Utah. He won his first gold medal in the 2014 Winter Olympics in Russia, but he has also won medals in the 2012 and 2011 Winter X-Games. With those beautiful eyes and adorable smile you can’t help but swoon over this mountain man. Swoon.                    Read More

There’s a certain amount of  tact present when conversing with acquaintances. These aren’t your people that arrive with vodka and a burrito when something horrid has happened to you. They are the co-workers of your friends that have a homely, three-limbed dog, or perhaps your friend’s Craigslist roommate that masturbates loudly. Sometimes you get stuck in the backseat of their cars after a group-camping expedition and you spill ketchup on their seatbelt buckle and don’t tell them. Whoever they are, you have certainly never connected with them on a personalRead More

The difference between your early twenties and your mid-twenties is vast. Once you hit your mid-twenties you’re welcome into a strange world where planning for retirement becomes a thing that you actually have to start thinking about, a world where everyone on MTV is younger than you, a world where you get invited to more weddings than keggers, a world where you can’t eat McDonalds because it’s “too greasy.” It’s basically the Twilight Zone. Another cool, fun thing about being in your mid-twenties is that you enter into a constantRead More

That was the title of the article. I saw it on Facebook and instantly clicked it because…I was sitting in my room, watching re-runs of Seinfeld, eating a bowl of the kind of cereal that makes you poop, wearing my tangerine high-waisted shorts, and suddenly…regretting all of my decisions. And as it turns out, guys HATE high-waisted shorts. They think they are awkward and unflattering and should be burned at the stake. (Along with your rompers, which according to the article, look like pillowcases and your maxi-dresses, which apparently makeRead More

I think it’s safe to say that I am going to be a professional bridesmaid. “Will you be my bridesmaid?”  My answer is always yes- “yes; I would be honored to prep you for your new forever.” Since my first two wedding duties are across the country, and within a month from one another, I followed my answer with a request for the brides, “Please make this forever, if not for me, then for my bank account.” Luckily, they said that was the plan and I believed them.   BeingRead More

I’ve had three Bloody Mary’s and seventeen olives and I’m in that crater of a conversation that revolves around significant others and their brunch orders. I wish I cared what your boring boyfriend chose to eat for breakfast to accommodate his Paleo diet and stomach sensitivity to dairy, but I don’t. I would rather gag myself with the bright green straw in charge of my Bloody Mary consumption and re-eat the marbled pieces of olive after I’ve thrown them up than continue the conversation.  After this instance I realized thatRead More

Because not every dance floor can have Patrick Swayze. Nearly all adult dance floors yield the same experience for me (excluding Mormon ones, which I greatly prefer, because we leave room for Jesus in between).  It typically goes like the beginning of an Ashlee Simpson song: All my girls  stand in a circle and clap your hands, this is for you. Okay, so there’s not a lot of clapping happening, but there is a collection of boozy guys lurking in the periphery, trying to decide which stranger to approach andRead More

I’ve never been a big fan of “the birthday.”  While I certainly appreciate the extra love on Facebook from people I haven’t seen since Myspace was the accepted social network, I just don’t feel the need to be celebrated for a full 24 hours.  What did I accomplish?  Being born?  Shouldn’t you be sending wishes to the woman who went through horrific labor in order to literally squeeze me out into this world?  I mean, really.  Nonetheless, regardless of how undeserving I may feel of the cakes and checks, I can’tRead More

“A dog will teach you unconditional love. If you have that in your life, things won’t be too bad” A year ago today I made the decision to take on the responsibility of raising and owning a King Charles Cavalier puppy, who I decided to name Cooper. With today being his first birthday, I was inspired to write a post on all the important lessons I have learned from owning him in hopes of conveying how much joy a dog can bring to one’s life. While raising a puppy can definitelyRead More

Where Boys Hide Their Boners When a guy pops a boner in basketball shorts, there’s only one place to hide.  My first boyfriend taught me where boys keep their boners. One night he took me to a scenic overlook that had a view of the city which I enjoyed from the inside of my boyfriend’s mouth as we made out against a high-standing stone wall.  (That is to say, I did not actually enjoy much of the view because we were otherwise occupied). He was a giant at 6’3″ toRead More

Hopelessly in love with… Your totally oblivious best friend Your best friend you probably has you in the friend-zone Your roommate Someone who lives a world away Someone who’s totally out of your league Someone who’s taken Your friend’s totally-off-limits boyfriend/girlfriend That person you’ve been staring at for the past forever Someone too old for you Someone too young for you Your totally dreamy boss/coworker Your totally dreamy teacher Someone you just met Someone you haven’t even met yet Someone on the Internet A celebrity who doesn’t know you existRead More

1. Cover letters. For those of us who hate bragging about ourselves, the cover letter is an absolute nightmare. What’s worse than talking about how great you are? Talking about how great you are in a formal letter that you rewrite in different contexts for different jobs about 50 times. What’s wrong with just looking at a resume and samples of work? 2. Job websites. Indeed, Monster, CareerBuilder, pick your poison. Unless you’re looking for an entry-level position in sales or marketing, good luck navigating that black hole. I’m not sureRead More