My chest feels tight, breathing has become a struggle, and my vision gets a little blurry; this is not regarding the latest episode of the Real Housewives of Orange County, but my future. My attention span has noticeably shrunk and anxiety-provoking thoughts race through my mind. “What the hell is going on?” I ask myself. Then I realize, I’m 25 years old, and while I thought I was ready to put my early-twenties to rest, I’m still horrified of the uncertain. This must be what a Quarter-Life crisis feels like.
A crisis can be defined as an emotionally significant event or radical change of status in a person’s life, along with several other definitions, depending on the context. But since I’m discussing being 25 with a hazy view of my future years, I’ll go with this one. Living out this so-call Quarter-Life crisis means many days of pure delight exuding a confident attitude that is sprinkled in with the moments of pure terror because my 25-year-old self isn’t what I thought it was supposed to be by now. Thank God for (in no particular order) ice cream, pizza, booze, and friends.
I am a human search engine for inspirational quotes, pictures, or songs to get me through the mundane activities of a day, and sometimes just to get my ass to the gym. Maybe one of the self-help and/or motivational Instagrams will help me find my happiness and my purpose. But what they really do is motivate me to look deep within my soul and find what sings to my heart.
As I pursue the aspects of life that put a smile on my face, I still battle with my own emotions and self-loathing that almost every female (possibly male) is doing during a Quarter-Life crisis. Social media bombards me with engagement and baby posts; I am beyond happy for my friends that are experiencing these pivotal moments in their life, but I can’t help but feel like I am getting lost in their wake. Then there are the moments that I feel like my life is thriving, my career is slowly forming into what I think it should be, and I can go to sleep knowing that my tomorrow will be even better than my yesterday. But I guess this is why it is called a crisis.
Apparently your twenties aren’t as easy as our teen dramas made them out to be, but if they were, then I wouldn’t learn so much as I take another step into each new day. Each decade in one’s life should bring more accomplishments and heartaches, along with experiences that will shape our decisions for our future. But how do I deal with the now? How do I handle the battle going on between, my mind, my heart, and my soul? The first answer would be to stop comparing myself to my peers and recognize that the ones that love me the deepest will love every part of me, no matter who I’m next to. The next answer I can provide is to breathe- life is happening now.