I don’t mind being naked. And I’m a fairly decent dancer. I’ve graduated from college and now I’m just waiting for the world to realize how great I am! In the meantime, it seems I am pretty well-equipped for a certain career.
The first thing I’ll need to do is expand my stripper heel collection. Like, I might actually have to buy a pair. Only I’d like to work in the kind of place that would encourage the Spice Girls style shoe, more of a platform tennis shoe. I’m wondering who decided that heels were sexy and what exactly is wrong with a good pair of stripper flats? I’ve already got two on my chest, what’s two more on my feet?
Which leads me to the next item my wardrobe is severely lacking: a push-up bra. Or any kind of bra, really. I’m not one for doing push-ups (though my dad used to offer an incentive of $1 per 100 “girl” push-ups when I was a kid). Maybe it’s time to invest in a bra that can take care of herself. My only concern is I’m sure there are men who actually enjoy this small-chested kind of vulnerability and I really would not like to deprive these guys of their God-given right to small breasts. So I guess I should embrace the freedom of no bra (because sooner or later, it all comes off anyways and) gravity will never bring me down.
I would be the kind of stripper who plays to her strengths. And if Mama Darling is any genetic indication, I’ve got a nice badonk on the way. Give me a few years and I’ll have the kind of ass that inspires insightful rap lyrics. There won’t be a dry dream in the house!
I would be the kind of stripper with high standards, of course. Like, I will only dance in a place that has glow-in-the-dark stars on the walls and monkey bars on the ceiling.
At first I would be shit because my upper body strength is nonexistent, but soon I will be one impressive lady!
Tags : Funny, Humor, life, Miscellaneous, Party, People, Sex, Society, strip club, stripper, Thoughts, women
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