Posted On November 10, 2014 By In Movies

The 10 Commandments of Netflix


1. Thou Shalt Have No Other Hobbies Before Me

Although it is permissible to lie on your online dating profile, in an interview, or to impress an acquaintance.



2. Thou Shalt Not Take the Name of Lord Netflix in Vain

Seriously.  Don’t insult or mock Netflix.  There are too many devout and loyal followers.  We are everywhere.



3. Remember to Keep Holy the Sabbath Day

Which, in the instance of Lord Netflix, is every day.  Especially Friday nights and entire Saturdays.  But we can’t rule out Monday-Thursday.  Sundays, too.



4. Honor Thy Father and Mother

(Only if they are still paying for your Netflix subscription.)



5. Thou Shalt Not Kill (it For Others With Spoilers)

Keep it to yourself, asshole!



6. Thou Shalt Not Commit Adultery

“Adultery” here referring to any productive adult-like behaviors, such as brushing your teeth, shaving, dressing, or leaving your house.  Adultery is not permitted.



7. Thou Shalt Not Steal

However, sharing your Netflix password with less fortunate friends is favorable.



8. Thou Shalt Not Bear False Witness Against Thy Neighbor

Meaning if you’re going to watch a steamy movie with lesbian sex-scenes, like Blue is the Warmest Color, you can’t lie and say it was your sister.



9. Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor’s Wife

Because you can covet all the other naked ladies of Netflix using Bateflix.



10. Thou Shalt Not Covet Thy Neighbor’s goods

Meaning Hulu Plus, Amazon Prime, etc.  Netflix rules!

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Kelsey Darling is a writer for Writtalin. Kelsey recently-ish graduated with an unhelpful degree from Portland State University. After a brief venture to Utah to live amongst the Mormons, she is now the palest person living in San Diego. She has a deep passion for whales, prominent eyebrows, and silver foxes. She has never been cool and neither has her hair.