Monthly Archives: "April 2014"

I firmly believe that when it comes to dating, texting is the actual devil. It is the demise of dozens of relationships and one text can be a game changer for countless others. One text can keep someone up all night in a ball of anxiety, and one vibration of a phone can send someone into a nervous tizzy. If it were up to me, texting would be strictly for use between friends. And not the, “Oh my god, I’m so not into him at all,” friends, I mean actualRead More

“One can’t. But Toucan.”   “Suga’ suga’ how you get so fly?”   “Damn girl, you SO Foxy”     “Hold still, I’m gonna give you Macaque”   “Gurl gimme that Octopussy”   “I wanna hump you so bad right now.”   “You make me SO horny!”  Read More

Wedding season is about to be here! New York Spring Bridal Week has presented some of the most beautiful gowns on the runway. Designers focused on airy, delicate gowns that any bride would swoon over. Sleeves were a main focus along with illusion looks that had tattoo style lace. Vera Wang, Reem Acra, and Monique Lhuiller showed illusion necklines, sleeves, and back details. Monique Lhuiller even presented a mint green tulle ball gown that easily became my favorite. Her inspiration this year was “My Ethereal Daydream.”She drew inspiration from American portraitRead More

Eyes open. Shit.  I’m alive. What now? Can’t I just lay here until I die?  I wish I could do that.  Maybe I could do that? What should I do?  I’m hungry.  Lie back down? Wait. Dog.  Piss.  Let’s go asshole. Unsteady legs underneath me towards the front door. The first shot shoots up my neck. The coldness of the fear envelopes my world. Not again. Wish I was a dog.  Tail fucking wagging.  He isn’t scared. You’re stupid.  Relax. Breathe. Neighbor door opens.  Not going out there.  Wait dog. Read More

I’ve recently found myself, for lack of a better hashtag…#singleasfuck. Not only that but hey, I’m a girl so I have to deal with hormones, PMS and all that fun stuff. The only guy who calls my house is Randy from Chase Visa. Just kidding, I don’t have a house phone. Anyways, drunk grocery shopping led me to find the ultimate lover: a pack of Double Stuffed Oreos. Why are they better than a man you might ask? Well girls, listen up! 1. Oreos NEVER disappoint Oreo after Oreo IRead More

Well, Class of 2014, it’s that time. Only a few more weeks and you’ll be taking selfies in your cap and gown, preparing for post-grad madness, and ignoring all of the shitty speakers at your college graduation. You’ve probably already reached the point at which all of the adults in your life transform into total a-holes, repeatedly asking you about your future plans (Who f*cking knows. You’re graduating–Isn’t that good enough?!) and I’m sure you’ve already read 10 different lists suggesting 100s of things you need to do in orderRead More

Tara Miele’s Thinspiration movie premiering this Saturday on Lifetime, Starving in Suburbia, follows a young dancer as she is slowly sucked into the world of anorexia and an online community run by the devastatingly mysterious ButterflyAna. Some of you may be wondering what thinspiration is (if you don’t know about it, consider yourself lucky!). The literal definition is “Photographs or other material intended to provide inspiration for anorexia nervosa as a lifestyle choice.” What this really means is there are thousands of images, websites, hashtags, twitter handles all dedicated to supporting and promotingRead More

Trend on the Rise: Children Climbing into Claw Crane Games Earlier this week a little girl climbed into a claw machine and began passing out toys to others. However, this is the second time within a week that this has happened. Coincidence? I think not. I don’t blame these kids. Those games are so frustrating. So, if I were small enough to crawl in and grab my own toys, why not? That’s a game within itself. The fun challenge is to find your way back out. But apparently this isn’tRead More

Getting dumped is something I have become well acquainted with during the past couple of years.  I like to blame it on my stint teaching English in Thailand, where an ex-pat lifestyle boasted an environment unsuitable for fostering skills to sustain a relationship and which resulted in a lot of strangers tongues in my mouth on island parties.  When I returned to the U.S. I went out with a lot of men that I was incompatible with, who I catered to, and who were only interesting after a whiskey sour or five.  I didn’t knowRead More

(As told by a two-term Editor-In-Chief at a college newspaper)   1. Do cool stuff for free ‘on assignment’ Want to see a concert, upcoming movie, play or art exhibit? Two words: press pass. Tons of places are looking for exposure and press, and if you contact them saying your publication wants to write a review or behind-the-scenes feature, you can probably check it out for free. Other opportunities include trade shows, political events, festivals, etc. Use this power wisely. 2. Feel really cool while you talk about the coolRead More

Donald Trump is among those expressing interest in owning The Buffalo Bills. The NFL team is currently under the ownership of Mary Wilson. Her husband, Ralph Wilson Jr., passed away just under a month ago at the age of 95. The team has stated on its website that it is in the process of planning the sale of the team in a way that is compliant with the NFL, the state, and county. Although Donald Trump made his name as a real-estate developer, he’s been involved in football before. He onceRead More

This video of Amy Poehler wearing a Pitbull mask and then shortly after revealing that it’s actually not Pitbull, but everyone’s favorite awkward blonde comedian and actress, is going viral. Yes Amy, you’re better than Pitbull. Watch below and enjoy!Read More

-Gigi Hadid- Twitter: @GiGiHadid Instagram: gigihadid Known for: Being a Sports Illustrated Swimsuit model, and being incredibly gorgeous in general. -Gigi Hadid is a blonde bombshell with just the right amount of exotic influence, making her a truly unique beauty in a world full of blonde ladies. This 19-year old hottie is the daughter of Mohamed Hadid, an extremely wealthy real estate developer, and Yolanda Foster, of Real Housewives of Beverly Hills fame. While Gigi’s parents have since split, let’s all thank them for coming together to create something this beautiful. Here areRead More

7am: The Slumber Fuck it, I’m not going to work. I’ll just call in sick. I have sick days, right? They’ll understand even though I’m taking two days off for the holidays. Fuck it then, I’ll just come in late. I’ll turn off my alarm and just sleep until my body wakes me up and then go to work. 9am: The Wakeup Okay, this isn’t so bad, you can do this. It’s only 8 hours. 8 hours and then you can body-slam into bed and pass out for eternity. Yeah,Read More

The trailer for The Final Member begins benignly enough.  The scene is set at the world’s only Phallological Museum, where curator Sigurður “Siggi” Hjartarson fauns over his extensive collection of – well, I probably don’t have to spell it out for you. The Reykjavik Museum is home to the peckers of all Icelandic mammals with the exception of one – our own.  “Why is it so difficult do you think to get a human penis for your museum?” asks an interviewer.  I think the answer should be fairly obvious.  WeRead More