Monthly Archives: "April 2014"

Since the first growth of pubic hair, I have found older men attractive.  Boys my age have always been boys: unimpressive whispers of facial hair, crotchety sweatpants, and that permanent after-game locker room smell.  Maybe it started in 8th grade with my salt-and-pepper haired history teacher, Mr. Rogers.  There was something patriotically sexy about learning the states and their capitals.  And the way he asked how I was each day–it was so meaningful! Since then, my predilection for older men has only intensified. The term silver fox is used to artfullyRead More

It’s been a rough two years, boys and girls. You see, I finally found out that these girls I loved didn’t love me back, after all. It was a slow, painful realization that the objects of my affection wanted to commit themselves to other men instead of me. Tragic. Yup, in the last two trips ’round the sun, I had to face facts and realize that I would never marry Natalie Portman, Keira Knightley, or Mila Kunis. It was brutal. First, Natalie – the epitome of class and poise –Read More

It has been a beautiful weekend of playoff basketball. Despite the absence of the old guard, all of the playoff games so far have been compelling. The Knicks, Celtics, and Lakers aren’t necessary to make things interesting. After a huge focus on the tanking, non-playoff teams throughout the season, we now have the best teams going against each other (and the Eastern Conference too!). Here are some thoughts and observations from the beginning of playoff season.   The Pacers should be concerned about the Hawks It has been a runningRead More

I know that the actual season is pretty far off still, but I can’t stop thinking about it with all the spring football games going on ESPN and all the analyst buzz starting to pick up around who’s going to be the team to beat this next season.  Here are 5 questions that I’ve compiled to think about as we move closer and closer to the beginning of what should be a pretty interesting season of college football. 1. How will the implementation of the 4-team playoff change the game,Read More

*Spoilers Ahead*   First off, I want to say that I love Game of Thrones. I have an unhealthy obsession with the show, the books, everything. Even this episode has some good moments. Seriously, watch it. But…. let’s face it, the episode Breaker of Chains sucked because….   1. HBO loves unnecessary nudity. Literally every episode so far has been screaming “Hey! Look at Oberyn! He likes men and women! See, he has orgies!!” Alright, we’ve seen him seducing everyone in sight now for several episodes. He’s bisexual and proud. Got it. Can weRead More

The caps and gowns have come in, but those of us in the Class of 2014 that are still slightly in denial about the end of our college careers have kept them safely stowed in the back of the closet. As May approaches, the number of awkward small talk and networking conversations has increased exponentially, and every mention of post-grad plans has us reaching for another glass of wine and scoop of guacamole. Whether you’re an underclassmen, a mentor, or a well-meaning family member, here are the Questions College SeniorsRead More

-J.C. Salter- Facebook: Fan Page Here. Known For: Modeling, body building, and a body that just keeps getting better. J.C. Salter is my crush for this Monday, and ladies, that man is simply stunning. He’s a corn-fed Iowa boy, but I guarantee he didn’t spend much time in the fields. I think it may be the fact he has a body that may have just been sculpted by the perfection itself, or the fact he has eyes I could stare into for hours. Either way, I’m in love. He recently participatedRead More

Bernard Hopkins stepped into the ring Saturday night dressed in burgundy and gold. It was in respect to the Washington, DC crowd that he was in front of. The DC armory was packed. Hopkins threw combinations with ease, landing shots at a rate more than twice his opponent’s, and he was eager to talk about his next fight at the end. He did not look 49 years old Saturday night. Final total punch stats had Hopkins landing 49% of his shots whereas Shumenov only landed 20% wasting too much energy on single jab misses.Read More

I divide the world into two very distinct groups:  The ones who have seen “The Big Lebowski” and the ones who have not.  If you are in the latter group, please immediately stop reading this story and go die in a fire, you are dead to me.  This story is for those special people that view the world through the musings of the greatest human being to ever walk the Earth, “The Dude.”  The big question for these intellectual heavyweights has always been should they do a sequel? In recentRead More

We all have a “type” we go for – like you see them from across the bar and you’re like “DAMN! I don’t know your name but excuse me miss/sir/non-gender-specific pronoun, I saw you from across the room…and I’ve got to admit that you’ve got my attention. You’re makin’ me wanna say yo!’”   For me, if I spot a dark-skinned fella (and I mean dark, like Akon, the midnight sky, dark) with saggy jeans, an earring, and a flat-brimmed hat with the stickers left on, OH IT IS ON. This is noRead More

While everyone is rehashing the latest episodes of Mad Men and Game of Thrones next Monday, I’ll be embarking on quite a different adventure.  April 21st marks the return of Cartoon Network’s cult animated series Adventure Time, which will be entering its sixth season.  Full of frenetic characters and colorful fantasy locales, it’s easy to see why the show has been such a phenomenal success with the network’s preteen demo, but that’s not all this wacky cartoon brings to the table.  In fact, it’s difficult to describe its appeal withoutRead More

Remember middle school boyfriends?  It’s just like that only no braces, better clothes and communication, and more confidence. He’s not asexual.  He’s not a virgin or a priest. He’s Mormon. I’m dating a Mormon. What does that mean?  Well, like other unfun religions, Mormons do not endorse premarital sex.  So that leaves us with a few choices.  We could get married, break the rules, or not have sex.  Since marriage is forever and breaking the rules would mean going against his beliefs, one of us chose the Not Having SexRead More

“Hey, alright! I finally feel like a man!” “But, oh my god, you look sooo dirty!” Regardless of your personal feelings on the situation, facial hair is here to stay – at least for a couple months until perms claw their way back to the top. It’s gonna happen. The facial hair transplant business is a-boomin’, too. Yeah, you read that right. In case you have not heard, follicly-impaired men across the country are now shelling out anywhere from $5,000 to $15,000 to graft from their scalps to their facesRead More

It’s that time of year again, when all your hipster friends bring out their inner trust fund baby and venture to Indio, California for three days of sweat, dust, and ridiculous outfit choices.  Remember your sweet friend Sally?  Okay, maybe it was kind of strange that she didn’t wear shoes to school the other day, but you’re about to see a brand new side of her as she corrupts your feed with a horrific Instavideo of her dry-humping the desert floor…naked.  On the bright side, Sally just got fired andRead More

Utah Family Shows Up Cher from Clueless Okay so this story is mostly depressing, but after reading into the facts more I’m thinking there’s something very strange going on here. A woman in Utah has been accused of killing six of her own babies and storing the bodies in boxes in her garage. Megan Huntsman admitted to strangling and suffocating the children immediately after their births. So all of that is completely disgusting and wrong but here’s the really weird WTF part that got me. Huntsman’s husband had no ideaRead More