Ramblings Category

Sometimes we get caught up worrying about the little things. We worry about the bills getting paid, our appearances, what others think of us, North Korea. I’m here to tell you that you shouldn’t sweat the small stuff. Here are some things that you should actually be worrying about.   Aliens Odds are, they’re out there. Think about it. And if they are out there it’s only a matter of time before they come after us. I highly doubt humans are properly equipped to battle Extraterrestrials. Like, hello? Have you watchedRead More

Record 16: Torrance, CA, Tuesday, July 5th, 2011. Night. I’m not going to tell you that I like what I do. I do what I do because when I do it I don’t do it poorly. So what is IT? Let’s break IT down: (note: I’m using numbers instead of letters for arbitrary reasons that I don’t feel like explaining because I write for free and explaining arbitrary reasons defeats the arbitrariness of those reasons). 1. I have sex with old women. Not older women. OLD women. 2. I don’tRead More

My randomly-assigned roommate freshman year wasn’t bad.  The most annoying thing about her was her noisy love for video games and her intense love of cats.  (Also, she collected these weird naked baby figurines).  Besides that, she was just any old person.  The main reason why resentment started to grow between us is because we shared a space, a single room.  After 6 months, we fell into silence forever. Anyway, I’m a journaler.  I loved writing in my journals and I’m sure she saw me scribbling away numerous times intoRead More

  Record 15: Laguna Beach, Tuesday, July 5th, 2012. Day. Axel’s parents were wealthy. They had a 3 story mansion just off the PCH with an elevator and a live-in maid they called Rosario, which wasn’t her actual name. It was a name applied to her. A name they gave her. A name she accepted because they paid her a maid’s fortune and allowed her access to the family golf cart. But this story is not about Rosario. It’s not about Axel’s parents’ 3 story elevator house that they noRead More

In this day and age, committing the perfect crime is becoming increasingly difficult. With the advent of advanced forensic sciences, and with news being constantly disseminated via television and Internet, very few crimes produce more questions than answers. This is why we are still mystified and intrigued by crimes that seem unsolvable, even in the age of surveillance cameras and DNA databases. However, these cases persist, stumping investigators and the general public alike. Whether they are decades-old cold cases or new incidents defying explanation, unsolved crimes make for some ofRead More

Record 13: Corona del Mar, Monday July 5th, 2010. Day. The waiter at Ruby’s was chewing gum. It didn’t matter that his outfit was cleanly pressed and perfect fitting. He was chewing gum, and Arendt wasn’t having it. “Just who in the hell. Am I right?” He asked. Or stated. Or maybe both? “You’re always right, Arendt.” I said, wiping sweaty bangs from my forehead, an affectation I’d developed in the 90-degree heat (with 40% humidity). “Rosie, do not placate me.” “I’m not sure you know what that word means.”Read More

It’s our anniversary but I’m experiencing it without you. August 18th marks the day we parted ways; you for a destination that people consider to be a “better place,” and me to a place that I have not found yet. I hope your taste buds are delighting in a huge bowl of ice cream right now because that was our sacred ritual. Honestly, ice cream makes everything better; if only we could be savoring each bite with one another the way we used to do. Our separation was one ofRead More

A strange thing happened to me when I started working in marketing and advertising: I started to look at everything within the context of marketing and advertising. I wouldn’t say I’ve become obsessed with branding; it’s more like my eye for and appreciation of branding has bled from my work life into the rest of it, so that I can no longer discern the two. For the layman: a brand is a name or other feature that makes one product distinct from its competition. And a huge part of anyRead More

Record 12: Pomona, Friday, July 5th, 2013. Day. Kenny Yamaha and I had been standing outside the Fox Theater for two hours, waiting to be let in. Kenny thought the doors opened at 7, but that was fucking wrong. I told him this a few times and he just drank his coffee, like ‘whatever man, fucking chill about it.’ So I fucking chilled about it and didn’t bring it up. Even though it’s now 8, and dark, and we’re in Pomona. Pomona fucking California. Have you ever been to PomonaRead More

Unless you’re a trust-fund babe living in a coked-out fantasyland, you have a job.  According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, 15.7 percent of us work in wholesale or retail trade.  In other words, 15.7 percent of the workforce doesn’t remember what a weekend feels like.  For some people, it’s the job they hope to have for years.  For the rest of us, it’s simply a job we work while keeping our eyes wide open for bigger and better possibilities.  While it seems like most of my friends have movedRead More

Record 11: Huntington Beach, Thursday, July 5th, 2012. Day. There is a merman that lives in Huntington Beach. This man is a certified swim instructor. He teaches young children and, occasionally, old men and women the backstroke. He teaches them how to tread water. He provides them with the necessary flotation devices, should they be required (note: flotation devices are not always required. This depends, of course, upon the trainee’s swimming proficiency). This man spends his free time at the beach, donning a golden spandex merman tail. He wears thisRead More

The days of casual conversations have been traded in for abbreviated text conversations and Snap Chat exchanges. The “Hello, how are you?” has transitioned to “What’s up?”, and “That’s so funny” to “LOL.” Now these changes don’t just apply to everyday conversations, but rather every human interaction we have nowadays – including the sometimes uncomfortable elevator rides. Now there are probably a few things that people should consider when riding in elevators. For instance, don’t ever do anything personal in an elevator because there is always someone watching…always. Just lookRead More

I swoon over a british accent as much as the next girl, but these 3 Brits are extra special.  This article is going to be a bit more philosophical (bored millennial philosophical that is…) about 3 Brits who are talented and famous – I didn’t know such a thing could exist! They had their cake… and they are eating it too. And I would like to officially give them The Bored Millennial American Citizenship Certificate and/or adopt them to become my very own American adult children. So with that, belowRead More

Record 10: Eagle Rock, California, Thursday, July 5th, 2010. Day. The first time I came home, the lights were still on. The living room was desolate and cold, and that’s how I remembered it during the days when my father smoked and told me that sometimes cigarettes aren’t bad for you. “Do you have friends at school?” He’d ask me. I did, and I loved them since we kissed all the time on the monkey bars and on the swings that would break if you swung too high. I stillRead More

When you grow up with a father who is an alcoholic, either recovering, recovered, or who currently has a problem, you learn a lot of things. In my case, my parents divorced when I was very young, and so many of these things I did not learn until later. I have always struggled because of this. When your father is an alcoholic, you learn that it’s weird that you come from a broken home. There is a special bond between a father and his daughter, and you learn quickly thatRead More