Don’t judge me for being on OKCupid because I know you’re probably thinking of how to describe yourself in three words at this very exact moment. I mean, I guess much like the “10 Internet Articles” article, if you begin to notice patterns in the online pickup lines you’re getting, maybe it’s time to go on a real date. Or maybe it’s just time to compile those pickup lines into a list that you then proceed to post on the internet. I don’t know. Do you, bbys. 1. The Holiday
Read MoreAs a twenty-something year-old woman living in a city that is highly populated with single individuals, I have become quite familiar with Tinder. Newly single, ready to mingle, and hungry for Pringles, I committed to eating for a work week only while on Tinder dates. I approached each date with the intention of getting to know each man and considering him in my dating life post-meal. However, as an individual notorious for her hanger (the dangerous combination of hungry and angry), I realized it was crucial to be strategic in
Read MoreThis is it. In six to ten weeks the Class of 2014 will be off to bigger, brighter (and slightly scarier) things. College may not last forever but those lessons learned (both in the classroom and out running rampant through the streets of your college town) will. Before you (attempt to) become a functioning member of society, take a look back on the last eight semesters and take in what you really took out of college (besides that degree). Write them down and keep a list like this one, written by
Read MoreIt’s April, and you know what that means: Spring is in the air, the days are getting longer, and around the country, thousands upon thousands of undergraduates are either crapping their pants or crying into so many Keystone Lights. Why, you ask? Because in a month’s time, the Class of 2014 will be the Graduating Class of 2014. Yikes. No more college, no more parental support, and no more irresponsibility. All that’s left is the cold, hard real world and its jobs, rent, and worst of all, maturity. Gross. So for
Read MoreIf the rise of superhero movies has taught us anything lately, it’s that audiences still crave stories about lone heroes taking on a world of injustice (seriously, to the tune of $95 million for the second weekend of Captain America: The Winter Soldier). Spider Man, Batman, The Man of Steel, heck, even movies like Divergent, 300, and The Hunger Games all prove it; people are obsessed with stories about someone with powerful, unique inner potential. Has anyone ever watched Bond, James Bond, kicking ass and taking names while looking slick
Read MoreIf we put down that near-barren wine glass that signifies the consumption of the better part of a bottle, if we turn off the Xbox, stop brunching, human-humping, and indulging in the other distractions that construct our twenties;if we are honest with ourselves, we realize that the only certain element of this defining decade is uncertainty. Far away is that safe four (perhaps five) years of cushion that college provided for us. Buffering us from the real world, college proves to be a quasi-adult world, where we are old enough
Read MoreIn honor and celebration of my birthday, which marks 23 years of stinky cheese breath, I offer you 23 confessions of my very own… 1. My first official confession was at the guilty age of 8, when I confessed to my Catholic priest, before my first communion, that I sometimes committed the grave sin of lying to my mother when she asked if I had brushed my teeth. One should never lie about dental hygiene. 2. In 2nd grade my meanest, cruelest act of bullying was telling a
Read MoreWe’ve all heard of the work-life balance, a.k.a. “don’t sit in front of a computer for 50 years and not see all the cool shit outside of the office too.” You go to work, and then you hang out with friends who know nothing about your office other than your complaints about the heavy breather and obsession with the new cute coworker (and prayers that you don’t get reported to HR). Every once in a while, you find yourself in the twilight zone known as a work happy hour, where
Read MoreTo say my life has been less than perfect would be an understatement. I went to college just like most kids. Right out of high school. I went to the local university, but didn’t do a lot of studying. I really didn’t care at that point. I was more concerned with drinking, girls, and having a good time. My family would ask how I was doing. How I was enjoying school. How I liked my teachers. I conjured up a web of little white lies and deceits. I thought they
Read MoreYou’ll know when you’ve met “The One.” That’s what they tell you. Who really knows if that myth exists? You hear it as a child and it’s ingrained into you. Society seems to revolve around this idea of perfect monogamous bliss. It’s the cog in the wheel that keeps civilization going. That ever-elusive enigma they call love. Everyone around you starts to pair up. You see the excitement and love in their eyes and think to yourself, “My time must be coming.” Years pass. Even girlfriends, crushes, and flings pass.
Read MoreIt sucks. Having a shitty boss is like surviving on rice cakes for the rest of your life. It’s outrageous! It’s unfair, ridiculous, and criminal. Maybe you’re on your 16th draft of a Pros and Cons of Quitting list, or maybe you’re resigned to the fact that your boss is as intelligent and useful as belly button lint–either way, try to see the bright side. Here are some invaluable life lessons you can learn during this time: 1. What Incompetence Looks Like Sort of like how being raised by
Read MoreInspirational quotes and motivational posters can be good things. Sometimes they can be just the thing you need to give you an idea or create a spark that can change your life. However, in reference to the droves of Pinterest circle jerks and Facebook reposts, I think it’s important to realize that there’s a lot that goes beyond a simple sentence on a physical or virtual wall. It’s often referred to as life – and sometimes it sucks and is unfair, sometimes things won’t make you stronger, and sometimes you
Read MoreTeaching you to be fearless Allowing fear to impact your decisions will always hold you back. If you grew up in a family that encouraged you to conquer your fears—flying, navigating cities, traveling alone, riding rollercoasters—thank them endlessly. You will never have to be one of those unfortunate people who kicks him or herself 10 years down the road for passing up an opportunity that could have lead them to amazing things. Letting you wear that There are many reasons to be thankful for parents that allowed you establish
Read MoreBecause I am an insufferable hipster douchebag, I not only listen to NPR, I kill a fair amount of time dicking around on NPR’s website. One of my favorite NPR blogs is alt.latino, which explores Latin rock and alternative music, and yesterday that blog had a wonderful, albeit brief, article about a concept I’ve come, over the past several months, to find incredibly powerful: saudade. (Click the link if for no other reason than to listen to some absolutely gorgeous Brazilian and Portuguese music. If you’ve never really gotten into bossa nova,
Read MoreNew to Tinder or struggling to find fulfilling relationships through the app? Here are some tips to win over the ladies. 1. Creative Conversation Starters “Hey,” and “What’s up?” are easily ignorable and peg you as boring faster than your argyle sweater and nondescript haircut. Ask your match something fun and interesting like “Does this mean we’re boyfriend and girlfriend?” or “Would your rather go hungry for a week or cut off your nipple shaving?” Genuine compliments are also a welcome initiator. 2. Adventurousness Make sure to include a
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