Millennials Tag

College has forever been pushed as perhaps the greatest time in life, but does anyone ever mention the drawbacks? Well, besides the pretty much unimaginable cost, which is touted as one of the biggest drawbacks to anything ever, but doesn’t actually feel real to anyone. For example, I currently owe $8,032 to my university. Having never seen more than five hundred dollars at once, this number feels obnoxiously big and like it could be way, way, smaller. But wait, there’s more…   1. There’s walking. Like a lot. Can someone please explainRead More

You’ve cried. You’ve consumed more pints of ice cream than anyone with a slight dairy allergy should. You’ve watched Sex and the City, the movie, seven times, but only until Mr. Big leaves Carrie at the altar, er, the New York library. You’ve empathized with her complete emotional demolishment while she has a weird piece of bird jewelry on her head. You’ve fully mastered the art of sleeping in the center of the bed, but you still haven’t done your laundry because you know there are three of his shirtsRead More

The best story ever told was between someone’s fingertip and their beloved’s skin- a love story of some sort or the tale of two individuals coming together. The only thing more epic than the beginning of a love story is the ending- the final touch or the end of the caress. In today’s society, it seems as though the only thing being touched is the screen on a smart phone to start a text message, and sometimes, the ending of an affair isn’t even granted that courtesy. From my datingRead More

People are people are people. They say things they don’t mean, they write “heartfelt” expressions of affection they don’t ever want you to fulfill, but they always, always, blame you when the expressions of affection are fulfilled, and it usually just leads to sad people everywhere and annoyed people in between. People are people are people, but why do the rest of us have to pay for the insensitivities of most? You know someone like this. These insensitive people show their faces around the end of things. They’ve been onRead More

If you’re like me– sixteen and thrust into a grown up world of taxes and employment before you even graduate– then you’re probably internally dying over taxes, employment, and what in God’s name the powerhouse of the cell is…because you have a biology test next week and you have no idea. If you’re not like me, congratulations, because you still have a soul hidden from the rudest people in mankind and the desperate urge to sleep. Juggling this all would’ve been easier with a handy guide to navigating the intricaciesRead More

I’m getting older. Every year. Every day. Every hour. Every minute. This much is indisputable. But I often find myself questioning whether I’m actually growing up as time endlessly marches onward. What does it mean to grow up? To have adult responsibilities? I have a few of those. To be objectively mature? I probably have a ways to go; I still think prank calls are hilarious and my friends and I still laugh at things that adults shouldn’t find funny. To wake up early, work a nine-to-five, and come backRead More

A few weeks ago I wrote an article on the prevalence of lists in current internet news media. News, (popular culture aside), it seems, has begun to appear more accessible to readers in this particular format. Why is that? I conducted a brief study, emailing folks a link to two articles discussing marriage in the 21st century. One article was presented in list-form. The other was not. I asked them to tell me which article they’d rather read. The result? 70% of people preferred the article in list-form. When askedRead More

The difference between your early twenties and your mid-twenties is vast. Once you hit your mid-twenties you’re welcome into a strange world where planning for retirement becomes a thing that you actually have to start thinking about, a world where everyone on MTV is younger than you, a world where you get invited to more weddings than keggers, a world where you can’t eat McDonalds because it’s “too greasy.” It’s basically the Twilight Zone. Another cool, fun thing about being in your mid-twenties is that you enter into a constantRead More

I’ve never been a big fan of “the birthday.”  While I certainly appreciate the extra love on Facebook from people I haven’t seen since Myspace was the accepted social network, I just don’t feel the need to be celebrated for a full 24 hours.  What did I accomplish?  Being born?  Shouldn’t you be sending wishes to the woman who went through horrific labor in order to literally squeeze me out into this world?  I mean, really.  Nonetheless, regardless of how undeserving I may feel of the cakes and checks, I can’tRead More

Here’s a question worth asking: why does contemporary news come in list-form? It used to be we’d get the occasional, yearly ‘Top 10 Albums’, ‘Top 10 Movies’, ‘Top 10 Books’ lists, and so on. In recent years, though, the practice of utilizing lists became somewhat of a go-to platform for authors of popular culture. Lists ranking a year’s most entertaining television shows evolved into indexed accounts of where to find the most delicious nonfat lattes in southern California. If you were wondering why giraffes should be your favorite animal, BuzzfeedRead More

Just prior to the third act in Lenny Abrahamson’s aggressively idiosyncratic ‘Frank’, the film’s mentally handicapped title character (Frank) announces to his band mates and devoted members of SORONPRFBS, an avant-grade rock ensemble begrudgingly prepped to take the stage at SXSW, that he has composed his “most likable song ever.” He’s done this, we learn, out of fear that the band’s experimental arrangements will alienate a virgin audience. Altogether hesitant, the mates listen as Frank, bent over a keyboard in a congested, Austin TX hotel room, plays a little dittyRead More

I’ll say it: if there’s one thing I’m great at, it’s making colossal, oh-god-I-just-fucked-my-whole-life-up mistakes. If I were to trace the origins of this unfortunate trait, I’d say it stems from a combination of me being inherently spacey and not always thinking things all the way through. This will become more evident as the list goes on. Now, I’m by no means perfect, nor do I even completely have my shit together, so take this as a “don’t be like me” cautionary tale. DON’T DO THIS SHIT:   1. LivingRead More

“Nobody likes you when you’re 23” – Blink 182 #NODISRESPECTTOBLINK182 but, by 23, you’ve (hopefully) found your core group of friends. The friends that have been there for every birthday, every break-up, and every night spent sleeping on the bathroom floor (see also: the pavement and in between your ex’s sheets). The friends, childhood or college, that you know will be there for life and will likely give some sort of embarrassing speech or break a glass at your wedding. Unless you’re an asshole, chances are there’s at least fiveRead More

  First, you decide what kind of tone you want for the night     Then, the pregame…aka probably the only part of the night you will remember                         You might confront your roommate about how they never clean up their shit                         You will probably end up at a bar and probably see something shocking                     Then youRead More

Here is another one for you folks obsessed with the hookup culture. The word relationship has a definition in the dictionary, but it does not follow a specific mould in practice. Average relationships last three to five months, but is anyone taking into account the micro relationship? A one night stand is just that, a micro relationship. It is a much nicer way of putting what has become norm turned back taboo turned back norm and now I’m not even sure what it is. Within a matter of hours an entireRead More