Posted On August 22, 2014 By In Dating For Men, Dating For Women, Girlzone

A New Look at One Night Stands: The Micro Relationship


Here is another one for you folks obsessed with the hookup culture. The word relationship has a definition in the dictionary, but it does not follow a specific mould in practice. Average relationships last three to five months, but is anyone taking into account the micro relationship? A one night stand is just that, a micro relationship. It is a much nicer way of putting what has become norm turned back taboo turned back norm and now I’m not even sure what it is. Within a matter of hours an entire relationship has been initiated, thrived, and fizzled out.

Contrary to popular belief, this is not a bad thing. All we are doing is taking what many strive to do in a lifetime and cramming it into one evening. That is what I call a skill. It begins like any relationship, with the exchange of a look or even a few words, but from there the process speeds up. Unlike with a drawn out relationship, this bar meeting counts for all of the dates. That one vodka tonic replaces all chivalrous actions. One compliment may even compare to a dozen roses if spoken the right way. Instead of waiting to hold hands until the second date, you’re making out in an alleyway between bars, and couldn’t care less. You two are young and in lust.

That is the next step. While those in committed relationships are falling in love, something scary and difficult to maintain, you are falling in lust. All you have to do is maintain that lust for an evening which takes off the pressures of reality and the possibility he’ll get fat.

This is where a bit of scrutiny takes over. It is more socially acceptable for micro relationships today but still not the commonplace. Everyone is judging for exactly that, the lust. But what really is the difference between lust and love? Time is the answer. Which it is to most things. Lust is the surface version of love. The feelings are just as intense and real but do not have the same lasting effect. Basically, no getting hurt with this one.

In the end, approximately twelve hours later, the relationship has fizzled out along with the heat from your coffee at breakfast. Which you should be having because running out in the morning is a bad move and a bad sign. Running out either means you were too drunk to recall his name or too blacked out to remember his face either. In which case your friends should have tossed down the favor card and taken your drunk ass home. But back to breakfast, it is a good thing to have. Unlike messy full length relationships, you both knew exactly where the start and finish were to lie, the path to get there the only variation.

Breakfast is a good end to a good beginning. It is the number one thing to take away from a micro relationship, aside from all the fun the night before. If you can handle the little bit of awkward, which I understand most people can’t, it is the way that we have been programmed to ditch out at first light, you’ll gain an insight most will never consider reaching toward. Here is when the night comes to a close and you really get to see the micro relationship broken down. Pretty much, it is when you say cheers with non-matching mugs of coffee and understand that it is perfectly accepting to end on good terms. Yes, I will say it again. Micro relationship, full length relationship, what have you, it is OKAY to end on good terms. And it is also important to learn from others in intimate settings, even encouraged.

For those nights when it was just a little too hot or way too weird to follow up with breakfast, good luck to you all. No sarcasm here, I wish you the best and cross my fingers for you that he is not a light sleeper.

From the micro relationship we need to take away the fun and lack of pressure, offering up the daily grind for, shall I say, a different kind of grind. It isn’t about judgement or running away, so you with your nose up at the hookup culture, get your head out of the pollution and stick it in a rose huh? Not everyone in this generation has it wrong. In all honesty, older generation, after watching many of your relationships fall apart due to a lack of experience, we are doing exactly what you told us, just in not so many words.

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Allison currently attends CU Boulder and works as a late night bartender. Her time is spent writing(especially poetry), playing N64, traveling, and hunting for under appreciated literature. She hopes to grow up to be an editor or work in publishing.