Hookups Tag

You’ve cried. You’ve consumed more pints of ice cream than anyone with a slight dairy allergy should. You’ve watched Sex and the City, the movie, seven times, but only until Mr. Big leaves Carrie at the altar, er, the New York library. You’ve empathized with her complete emotional demolishment while she has a weird piece of bird jewelry on her head. You’ve fully mastered the art of sleeping in the center of the bed, but you still haven’t done your laundry because you know there are three of his shirtsRead More

Alright, men. I’m here to set the record straight; to tell you not to listen to everything you read on the Internet (well, you should listen to this article, but I digress…). I have seen far, far too many articles posted online advising men that the way to win a woman’s heart is to “play hard to get;” to be unavailable and enigmatic; to seem distant and disinterested. But I’m here to tell you that, quite frankly, a lot of that advice is total – for lack of a moreRead More

It was my second date with a guy who I had met on Tumblr. You read that correctly; we did not meet on Tinder, a pseudo-dating app designed to facilitate smash sessions between willing parties, but on Tumblr, a blogging site that I used almost exclusively to reblog pictures of Batman , rappers, and cute animals. Was meeting someone I’d met off the internet, and not even a dating website, the sketchiest thing I’d done up until that point? Not even close. Besides, he was really cute (at least fromRead More

My feelings about online dating are very unserious.  That’s why I chose OkCupid.  No one is searching for their eternal companion there, unless their standards are limbo-dance low.  It’s no eHarmony with commercials of middle-aged couples finding happiness  together through the internet.  This website doesn’t have commercials because the users just go Ehhh…okay, Cupid, fine, I’ll give online dating a try. My labors were not extensive and my profile was playful, but brief.  Still, I have found great success thanks to Cupid and my inability to say no.  These areRead More

Here is another one for you folks obsessed with the hookup culture. The word relationship has a definition in the dictionary, but it does not follow a specific mould in practice. Average relationships last three to five months, but is anyone taking into account the micro relationship? A one night stand is just that, a micro relationship. It is a much nicer way of putting what has become norm turned back taboo turned back norm and now I’m not even sure what it is. Within a matter of hours an entireRead More

The stories you are about to read are all 100% true. Names, locations, and other identifying characteristics have not been changed to protect the innocent. Namely, because the only innocent person in these scenarios is me.   10. Guy: “I’m not gonna bust inside you, I’m a nice Jewish boy.” Me: *Nopes the fuck out*   9. Guy mumbles something. Me: “What?” Guy: “I’m tired.” Then proceeds to roll over and pass tf out on top of me. In a twin bed. While I am struck with the undeniable andRead More

It’s been about a year since I downloaded Tinder and we’ve shared some interesting times. Not good times; mostly bad/weird times, and one good time that turned bad. I only met up with 2 guys from Tinder, so in other words I made 2 huge mistakes. Here’s the first one: It was in my beginning stages of Tinder, you know, back when you’re getting more matches than you thought was possible (do THAT many people really find me attractive? If so, why am I on Tinder)? And you talk to eachRead More

Here’s what happened: 5 points to anyone who laughed at that reference. So here’s what happened: I was at my tied-for-favorite bar in Atlanta (it’s Mother, in case any ATLiens are reading this) and for whatever reason my friends were off doing something and I was left to my own devices for the moment (always a bad idea). Actually, in retrospect, I probably just went downstairs to pee, which goes to show you how much damage I can do in 10 minutes. Anyway, so I’m downstairs minding my own businessRead More

A while ago, after exchanging what I deemed an acceptable amount of messages with a guy on OKCupid, I gave him my number. A few rounds of witty banter later, he hit me with a question every guy, including my dad…okay, especially my dad…loves to ask at the first chance he gets: So why are you still single? I could get asked why I’m single every day until I’m no longer single (if and when that day ever comes), and it would still fill me with the same combination ofRead More

  1. You sort of catch on that the guy you’ve been talking to might have feelings for you, and that freaks you out. 2. Like, you’re filled with a combination of confusion and inexplicable dread. The type of inexplicable dread that just weighs on you, paralyzes you. 3. Being physically intimate with someone is easy-peasy-lemon-squeezy. “This guy is going to see me naked? Who gives a fuck?” But if he asks you about your goals, or fears, or god forbid, what you want out of this relationship, your mouth seals shutRead More

A while ago I wrote an extremely coherent and intelligently worded post on my personal blog, which later appeared on Betches Love This, about why I hate it when dudes ask me to “come over and watch a movie.” Since then I’ve gotten a lot of shit from guys being all, “I don’t see what the big deal is, I pull that move all the time, it’s great and super effective,” blah blah blah. Okay, so I guess I wasn’t clear enough the first time so I’m coming back at youRead More

If the rise of superhero movies has taught us anything lately, it’s that audiences still crave stories about lone heroes taking on a world of injustice (seriously, to the tune of $95 million for the second weekend of Captain America: The Winter Soldier). Spider Man, Batman, The Man of Steel, heck, even movies like Divergent, 300, and The Hunger Games all prove it; people are obsessed with stories about someone with powerful, unique inner potential. Has anyone ever watched Bond, James Bond, kicking ass and taking names while looking slickRead More

I laughed with girlfriends over drinks in regard to the female phenomenon of making excuses for the guys we date.  We admitted to how pathetic we could be, constructing covers for their lack of communication and attention, “He just has had a really busy week,”  “He is just scared of how much he likes me.”  We discussed these delusions that we make up in our minds in response to a text that takes less time to type and send than it does to fart.  I am fatigued from generating the reassuranceRead More

Tinder can be a simple way to get attention, a date, or a hook-up in minutes.  There is something satisfying in being provided with a stack of people in your preferred mile and age radius while your besties are brunching with their beaus.  Yes, they may have shared bacon and mimosa-breath sex, but you have Tinder!  One can determine their attraction to another person with subtleties that can only be seen in photographs.   After a week plus some extra hours of Tindering, I have realized that there are some trendsRead More

New to Tinder or struggling to find fulfilling relationships through the app? Here are some tips to win over the ladies. 1. Creative Conversation Starters “Hey,” and “What’s up?” are easily ignorable and peg you as boring faster than your argyle sweater and nondescript haircut.  Ask your match something fun and interesting like “Does this mean we’re boyfriend and girlfriend?” or “Would your rather go hungry for a week or cut off your nipple shaving?”  Genuine compliments are also a welcome initiator.   2. Adventurousness Make sure to include aRead More