All posts by Ascher Robbins

Like many other sports writers, I have ranked all 32 teams in the NFL at the midpoint of the season. Unlike any of them, I have written a haiku to sum up each team’s season. I think it’s the most effective way. Let’s get started. #32 – Oakland Raiders No playoffs forever This year is no different Will they win one game?   #31 – New York Jets When Michael Vick is Your team’s best shot at winning You must really suck   #30 – Jacksonville Jaguars Congrats Jaguars fans! YouRead More

Hopefully by now you’ve seen Tru Tv’s The Carbonaro Effect, which premiered this summer to rave reviews from audiences and critics alike. Using a unique blend of magic and prankster-esque comedy, the shows titular magician, Michael Carbonaro, dupes unsuspecting people into believing the impossible. If you’re unfamiliar with the show, you can read my first interview with Carbonaro to see what he’s all about. In the first half of Season 1, Carbonaro was able to pop bowling balls out of flat packages, assemble a live duck with spare parts, andRead More

Unless you’re under 21 years of age or planning on spending your Halloweekend with a Ouija board in a graveyard, the odds are good that the only spirits you’ll be around are those of the alcoholic variety. Let’s be honest – Halloween isn’t your average night, especially when it falls on a Friday. So why drink ordinary beverages for the occasion? Well, you shouldn’t! Fortunately, Captain Morgan has teamed up with Vermont’s Owl’s Brew – the first company to brew tea exclusively for use in cocktails – to create some trulyRead More

With every year you get older, don’t you miss the magic of Halloween just a little bit more? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love partying as much as the next guy, and Halloween is one of my favorite holidays to get a little bit weird. But you know what I mean. When you’re young, Halloween is exciting for many other reasons. When you’re young and naive and have no fucking idea how the world works, Halloween is a legitimately magical holiday. The spooky stuff – ghosts and monstersRead More

This article, this very article you’re currently reading, is the 1,000th post on Writtalin. We’ve made it this far, and we’re only getting started. When I started this site ten months ago, with about 10 writers and a vision, I couldn’t have imagined how quickly we’d grow. I couldn’t have imagined how many amazing people I’d meet. I couldn’t imagine how many talented writers would want to be part of this project. I couldn’t have imagined how many readers would keep coming back to the site and helping us grow.Read More

So, two nights ago, I saw a movie I’d been wanting to see for quite some time – Gone Girl. Having never previously read the book upon which the film is based, my enthusiasm came from my appreciation for director David Fincher and the enticing previews I had seen. First things first: the film was fantastic. I recommend that each and every one of you go see it ASAP. But now, a few days removed from roller coaster that is Gone Girl, I’ve found myself thinking a lot about the movie as a commentaryRead More

After 162 grueling games (163 for the Royals and Giants), we are down to the MLB’s final eight teams. Our remaining eight contestants now face off in a best-of-5 series in the League Division Series to advance to the League Championship Series. So who gets through to be one of the final four contenders for this year’s World Series? Here are my thoughts.   ALDS   Kansas City Royals (90-73) vs. Los Angeles Angels (98-64) The Royals are fresh off an exhilarating extra-innings win against the Oakland Athletics in theRead More

Last week, I was in Las Vegas. I was in Las Vegas for five nights too long…and by that, I mean I was in Las Vegas for five nights. As a problem gambler and a party-loving idiot, being in Vegas at all was probably a terrible choice. But during my time in Vegas, I learned a few valuable lessons which I would like to impart onto the rest of you.   Bribery ALWAYS Works Going to Vegas with a group of five dudes and one girl, our odds for gettingRead More

Haven’t you guys heard!? Nude photos of Jennifer Lawrence leaked yesterday! And while this development certainly hurts her wifeability ratings (which I’ve previously discussed), such happenings bring excitement and happiness to men worldwide. God bless you, J-Law. So, relatedly, I’ve been thinking about which celebrities I still would really like to see naked – celebrities who haven’t provided us with nude scenes OR leaked photos (how selfish). Here’s what I came up with:     #10: Sarah Palin …Hate her as a politician, don’t like her as a human being. ButRead More

In this day and age, committing the perfect crime is becoming increasingly difficult. With the advent of advanced forensic sciences, and with news being constantly disseminated via television and Internet, very few crimes produce more questions than answers. This is why we are still mystified and intrigued by crimes that seem unsolvable, even in the age of surveillance cameras and DNA databases. However, these cases persist, stumping investigators and the general public alike. Whether they are decades-old cold cases or new incidents defying explanation, unsolved crimes make for some ofRead More

#5: Cialis – Making You so Sexy You and Your S/O Sit in Separate Bathtubs I never understood the logic here: if Cialis is supposed to give you rock-hard, incredible erections that will satisfy your partner beyond her wildest dreams, then why the hell is the closing scene in Cialis advertisements a man and a woman sitting in separate bathtubs? The only theory I can come up with is that Cialis leads to premature ejaculation and gives you a whole different list of sexual problems. Bummer.       #4:Read More

So, everyone has seen the ice bucket challenge by now, and there are many people who are dubious that pouring water on your head actually helps accomplish anything, Writtalin writers included. But everyone’s favorite eccentric, crazy celebrity just one-up’d the world with his rendition of the ice bucket challenge. Sorry boys n’ girls, Charlie Sheen is America’s shining light when it comes to the ice bucket challenge…  Read More

They’re back, America. After last year’s chart-topping, breakthrough single, “Football on Your Phone,” the Manning brothers have returned to the music biz with their latest smash hit, “Fantasy Football Fantasy.” Watch below as everyone’s favorite awkward, white quarterbacks get straight ill on the track. The rap game will never be the same again.    Read More

Television has a way of getting to us. After season upon season spent investing time, energy, and emotion into the development and nuances of the characters in a given series, we often connect to TV characters in a way that we do not to fictional people in other forms of media. Watching heartbreaking things happen to characters you have come to know intimately often feels personal and devastating. Here are my picks for the ten saddest moments in television history. Oh yeah…and SPOILER ALERT!!!!!, obviously.   #10: The Fresh Prince ofRead More

Oh boy. I could make this list about 3,000 people long, but I doubt you’d want to read it any more than I want to write it. So instead, we’ll focus on the absolute worst of the worst; here are the 5 celebrities that I utterly, completely hate. (And yes, Plain White Tees, I am aware that hate is a strong word…but I mean it).   #5 – Blake Shelton I don’t know why, really. Maybe it’s his utter lack of talent, or maybe it’s because he hosts the freaking Voice. MostlyRead More