All posts by Ascher Robbins

This one goes out to the Class of 2014. Whether you’re graduating this weekend, next weekend, or in June (yeah, I went to UCSB, I know all too well the pains of the quarter system and its late graduation dates), whether you attended a private school with 2,000 people or a public school with 20,000, whether you majored in dance or biochemistry, this article is for you.   I’m not exactly a perpetual optimist. A few weeks ago, I wrote a piece about some of the harsh realities of post-gradRead More

The Hold Steady is arguably the most critically-acclaimed rock n’ roll band of our generation. Having just released their sixth studio album, Teeth Dreams, on March 25th of this year, the band holds an otherworldly 80/100 average score on Metacritic, spanning the body of work they have produced over a decade of making music (find another contemporary group that comes close to that score – you can’t). Yet, mention the Hold Steady to your average music fan today, and you will more than likely be met with a blank stare.Read More

Sorry everyone, it’s time to get out your Butthurt Shields, cause what I’m about to write might hurt a little bit. Here are five idolized cultural icons that really were not that great. #1 – Jim Morrison Yeah yeah I know. The Doors made some decent music. But letsbehonest – that was in spite of Jim Morrison, not because of Jim Morrison. Hell, in interviews his former bandmates have even said that his drug use and incoherent lyrics hurt their artistic visions at times. I mean, it was probably mostlyRead More

Hockey and I have had a roller-coaster of a relationship over the years. Growing up in Colorado in the 1990s, the Colorado Avalanche came second ONLY to my beloved Denver Broncos. Yeah, it was a great time to be a Colorado sports fan; the Avs and Broncos were downright dominant in the mid-to-late 90s. It was also a great time to be an NHL fan; fantastic rivalries, star players, and excellent attendance made the NHL a force to rival the NBA for viewership. But then, in the early 2000s, theRead More

It’s been a rough two years, boys and girls. You see, I finally found out that these girls I loved didn’t love me back, after all. It was a slow, painful realization that the objects of my affection wanted to commit themselves to other men instead of me. Tragic. Yup, in the last two trips ’round the sun, I had to face facts and realize that I would never marry Natalie Portman, Keira Knightley, or Mila Kunis. It was brutal. First, Natalie – the epitome of class and poise –Read More

It’s April, and you know what that means: Spring is in the air, the days are getting longer, and around the country, thousands upon thousands of undergraduates are either crapping their pants or crying into so many Keystone Lights. Why, you ask? Because in a month’s time, the Class of 2014 will be the Graduating Class of 2014. Yikes. No more college, no more parental support, and no more irresponsibility. All that’s left is the cold, hard real world and its jobs, rent, and worst of all, maturity. Gross. So forRead More

I feel pretty damn good about myself. On Saturday, I went 2-for-2 picking the winners, and missed covering both games by half of a point in the Kentucky-Wisconsin nightcap. UConn blew by heavily-favored Florida, and Kentucky eked out a one-point thriller of a victory against Wisconsin. And while I might have picked the winners correctly in those two games, neither myself nor anyone else in their right mind had this matchup for the National Championship: 8-seed Kentucky versus 7-seed Connecticut; the sum of the two teams’ seeds, 15, is the highest inRead More

The Madness has subsided and we’re down to the Final Four challengers for that oh-so-elusive final clip in the annual “One Shining Moment” montage. Florida, the #1 overall seed, we certainly expected to be here. Wisconsin, the #2 seed in the West, isn’t much of a shocker. Kentucky, the #8 seed in the Midwest region is a bit of a surprise, but nobody doubted the talent on the team that was ranked #1 in the preseason. UConn, who was ranked as high as #10 in the nation during the regularRead More

I love Impractical Jokers. That hilarious show is pretty much the reason I watch Tru TV…well, other than the first rounds of March Madness, of course. So while viewing Impractical Jokers the last few weeks, I’d been noticing a few previews for a show that looked kindasorta intriguing: The Carbonaro Effect.  After seeing these brief trailers for the show, I was interested enough that I decided to watch the full 20-minute pilot that Tru TV broadcast on April Fools Day. But make no mistake – Michael Carbonaro and his upcoming show are noRead More

Madness has transpired, the dust has cleared, and we’re left with sixteen contenders for one trophy. Here’s how I see the next two days playing out. Feel free to give me hell in the comment section when I get only one or two of these correct. Here goes: 1 – Dayton beats Stanford The Flyers are 3.5 point underdogs here, but no matter: Dayton will beat Stanford today. The Cardinal did beat Kansas…but that was without the Jayhawks star big man Joel Embiid on the court. Meanwhile, the Flyers haveRead More

In Portland, Oregon there exists a famous locale known for its trademark pink boxes and interesting culinary creations. Voodoo Doughnut is well-known to Oregon locals, but until recently, the eclectic eatery had yet to expand past the borders of the Beaver State. No more. Two months ago, the famous chain headed a little bit East and opened up its new, fourth location in Denver, Colorado, only a stone’s throw from my home in Boulder. Naturally, I had to go see what all the fuss was about. When my girlfriend and IRead More

Think something you filmed on your GoPro while snowboarding is hardcore? Think again. In the video below, a GoPro records while some lunatics jump from the top of One World Trade Center – you know, the tallest building in the Western Hemisphere. Badass? Probably. Stupid? Definitely. The jumpers are looking at jail time, or at the very least, some hefty fines for their stunt. Obvious risk of bodily harm aside, it seems that we can easily conclude jumping from the World Trade Center is not a good idea. But whetherRead More

Alright guys. It’s two in the morning, and I’ve done very little except watch basketball for the past four days. This is by no means a complaint; actually, thank the Lord Almighty for four straight days of the sporting world’s greatest spectacle – college ball. But man, has it been a frenzy. I’ll make this intro brief: Madness has been Madness; giants have fallen (Kansas, Villanova, Wichita State, Duke, Cincinnati, Ohio State, and more), a few groups of men are looking fantastic in glass slippers (Dayton, Tennessee, Stanford), and aRead More

Selections = made. Matchups = set. It’s time for the absolute BEST time of the year for any true sports fan: MARCH. F*CKING. MADNESS. Get ready for a wild two-plus weeks, folks, as this year is setting up to be one of the craziest in recent memory. Three of last year’s Final Four are in the same freaking region. Last year’s champs, Louisville, are somehow a 4-seed. Wichita State is the first team to enter the NCAA Tourney unbeaten since 1991…and not many people truly believe in them. There areRead More