All posts by Ascher Robbins

Is your productivity at an all-time low? Have trouble getting up on time? Prefer to play video games or watch trashy TV shows than getting your work or studying done? CARROT produces a few apps that will help you break those shitty habits and send you on the road to being the productive adult you’ve always wanted to be.   Meet CARROT Are you the type of person who doesn’t get stuff done unless someone is constantly badgering you to do it? Meet CARROT, your new best friend…if your bestRead More

While Sophie’s first installment in this series of life-changing websites was on the serious end of the spectrum, this volume of the series is on the utterly inane and ridiculous side. While productivity and useful tools can certainly change your life, so can a website that can consume hours of your time doing unproductive things! Hey, nobody ever said “This Website Will Change Your Life” meant that it would change it for the BETTER. Alas, meet The Useless Web. The Useless Web is exactly what it sounds like: useless. ThisRead More

However, for those of you purists out there, great rock n’ roll music is still out there for those of us who are willing to seek it out. In fact, in my humble opinion, there are several contemporary bands that are churning out some of the best rock music ever produced. The improvements in technology over the last few decades has led to lots of watered-down, autotuned nonsense, but it has also improved the sound of rock music. Without further ado, here are five bands that can still rock outRead More

We all know that Sarah Jessica Parker looks like a horse, and there’s plenty of consensus that Taylor Lautner looks like an alpaca. But they aren’t the only celebrities that have some interesting doppelgängers. Here are some of the best celebrity lookalikes you may not have noticed: Nate Ruess and Lou Lou Who     Ron Perlman and an angry baboon     Marshawn Lynch and Predator     Colin Kaepernick and a proboscis monkey       Lena Dunham and Homer Simpson     Miley Cyrus and Simple JackRead More

So Sports Illustrated just came out with their latest Swimsuit Issue, which you probably already knew…unless you HATE social media, women, and fun in general. The best part? The always-captivating Kate Upton had an interesting series of photos for the magazine – she was photographed in a zero-gravity plane, far above the ground that mere mortals like you and I have to walk upon. When Tal Bachman released his hit song (you should be listening to this while viewing the photos), it seems clear he was predicting the stratospheric rise ofRead More

In Case You Missed It: On Wednesday’s Tonight Show with Jimmy Fallon, we were given PURE GOLD…in the form of NBC Nightly News Anchor Brian Williams puttin’ down some verses to Sugar Hill Gang classic “Rapper’s Delight.” In case you went to bed too early, or aren’t a big Jimmy Fallon fan, we have the video for you.Read More

Well, this was the natural progression of things, right? After distraught app designer Dong Nguyen pulled his massively popular creation, Flappy Bird, off the market last week, hordes of imitators have flooded the App Market: Iron Pants, Happy Bird, Splashy Fish, and a bunch of other inanity based on the business model that was reportedly making Mr. Nguyen $50,000 PER DAY. So the next step was obvious, right? You can now make a DIY flappy bird clone! Go to this website, upload two photos, give it a name, and BOOM:Read More

As we all know, not much these days comes free. Far more things come incredibly expensive. And while the price tag on certain items can be reasonably justified, there exist innumerable products that are simply never worth the cash. The following six things are simply NOT worth ponying up lots of dough for, period. Some of them are quality products but can be replaced with much cheaper alternatives, some of them you have no reason to ever purchase. Just remember, kids: what you WANT and what you NEED are twoRead More

The big day is here, guys. Valentine’s Day. Or, as I like to call it, “Girls are Feeling Romantic and Horny,  Therefore You Better Get Laid” Day. Yes, no matter your relationship status today – whether you’re single and free, tied down, or out in the wild in-between – as a man, you should be doing everything possible to make this evening a memorable one. While your girlfriend, date, or girl you pick up at the bar will appreciate the flowers, dinner, or, for the last option, the shot of Burnett’s,Read More

There are two reasons to watch the Olympics this year: 1) the events, and 2) the gorgeous athletes. Everyone from theCHIVE to the Huffington Post has compiled their lists of the hottest ladies to watch in Sochi, but we’re going to respectfully disagree with some of their choices, and give you the only 10 ladies you need to be watching – and we mean WATCHING – in the 2014 Winter Games. Plus, for those who use social media we’ve included links to these lovely ladies’ pages, so that you can followRead More

Now that the 2014 Olympics are in full-swing, you might have some decisions to make. Between the live-streams on NBC Sports Live Extra, the coverage on NBC, and still more coverage on the NBC Sports Channel, it can be a little overwhelming when deciding what events you want to watch. But, I’ll make it easy for you. If you’re like me – which, let’s be honest, you should be – you only want to watch the sports that make you go “HOLY BALLS! That was SO badass!” Ain’t nobody gotRead More

I truly believe that the hallmark of any great artist, of any great musical outfit, is the ability to evolve musically, to grow personally, and to have every new album serve as a showcase for that latest great step forward. There is little more impressive than progress. Against Me!‘s latest album, the deeply personal Transgender Dysphoria Blues, not only represents a bold new step for the band and frontwoman Laura Jane Grace – it represents a colossal step forward for the LGBT society, and hell, the American public at large. If TransgenderRead More

Eww. That was one horrible, one-sided, bore of a football game we were all forced to endure on Sunday. Super Bowl XLVIII, for all its hype and seemingly endless storylines, straight-up flatlined. It took all of 12 seconds and one offensive snap for the Broncos to be on their heels and the Seahawks to be on the attack. And after Manny Ramirez‘s errant snap fluttered over Peyton Manning’s head and into the end zone for a safety, for all intents and purposes, the game was over. The writing was on theRead More

It’s finally time for the moment we’ve been waiting for since August: Super Bowl XLVIII. The Denver Broncos against Seattle Seahawks; the two teams we’ve expected to go this far from the beginning. And while I’ve already broken down the Big Game in detail in another column, I wanted to give y’all some gambling advice for Super Bowl Sunday. I’ll begin by giving you my ATS and Over/Under picks, and then you’ll get the added bonus of getting some suggestions for ridiculous prop bets you can make – such as, whatRead More

Alright. So, the dust has settled, the weak have been eliminated, the Crabtrees have been insulted, the Bradys have been bested, and here we are: right where we thought we would be back in August. Broncos vs. Seahawks. The two #1 seeds. The two teams that many have thought were the class of their respective conferences since before this season began. We couldn’t possibly ask for a better matchup: the league’s #1 offense against the league’s #1 defense. The veteran, record-setting QB against the fresh, young swagger of the SeattleRead More