Lifestyle Category

Wearing a bra is more exhausting than wearing pants. Yes, they are necessary and eventually become a regular way of life, but you have to realize we go through training for that shit.  And it is both exciting and horribly embarrassing at the same time.  The extreme blush of buying your first bra with your mother, the shy confidence that comes from having your bra strap snapped by the boys at recess–bra training really drains your emotions!  Now I wonder why I was ever excited about training for this perma-seatbeltRead More

I have a little secret trick that works as an excellent detox from the harmful things we fill our minds and bodies with on a daily basis. It works in just one day and instantly makes me feel much better. I feel refreshed, I feel happier and I feel way less stressed and anxious. So what’s my one day detox? I stop using social media. We are all so helplessly and pathetically addicted to social media. I’m not shunning any of you or pointing the finger, I’m standing right there withRead More

She grabs your shoulders from behind, in a back-hug and shakes you around like a my-sized, standing shake and bake…also how you’re not supposed to shake a newborn baby. “Look at you! You’re amazing!” She says to your reflection that stares from an abandoned and mirrored headboard on the sidewalk that you’re sure has witnessed a night or eighty of raunchy sex. You tell her you may cry because you’re hungry and tears are your undue reaction to low blood sugar. You try not to for the sake of theRead More

1. Your weekend plans in the kitchen with your co-worker whose name you forget, but whose mustache crumbs you always remember. The necessity to construe a wholesome response before 8am because having morning sex and eating ramen twice in bed isn’t an acceptable answer to a person who is supposed to regard you professionally is irritating. And if you decided to make toast instead of cereal on that Friday you must engage further while he makes poor over-coffee talk about how fast weekends go by. And how it’s supposed toRead More

I’m getting older. Every year. Every day. Every hour. Every minute. This much is indisputable. But I often find myself questioning whether I’m actually growing up as time endlessly marches onward. What does it mean to grow up? To have adult responsibilities? I have a few of those. To be objectively mature? I probably have a ways to go; I still think prank calls are hilarious and my friends and I still laugh at things that adults shouldn’t find funny. To wake up early, work a nine-to-five, and come backRead More

I was four-years-old when I came to the realization that I couldn’t read. Of course, at that point, I never could read, but it was at this age that I became acutely aware that I couldn’t read and that everyone else could. My mom could. My dad could. My eleven-year-old sister could. It was basically all the guy on Reading Rainbow could talk about… Why couldn’t I? So I did what any four-year-old would do and I asked my mom, “When will I know how to read?” My mom wasn’t entirelyRead More

1. Go to a random concert – Concerts are great because you’ll actually be doing something after work, other than sitting on the couch with a box of Cheez-Its. And the upside is that usually the shows will let out at a fairly reasonable hour, either because they know nobody’s trying to turn up until 2am on a Tuesday (except you, Makonnen), or because of neighborhood noise laws, IDK. Unless you plan on going to a rap concert in which case, you’re basically going to be out until you haveRead More

In the past year, the entertainment industry has suffered the loss of renowned comedians and thespians (you know who they are). In response, general depression awareness levels were heightened on a national level. The societal fear of losing another entertainment icon (if you’re a millennial like I am, you miss the hell out of Peter Banning) has rattled the most durable of psyches, prompting those who suffer, primarily those inhabiting the vicious world of entertainment, to open up about their illness. Comedian Wayne Brady is the latest to go candid.Read More

I was halfway between my apartment and Dunkin’ Donuts when my first coffee of the day began to take hold. I felt more alert, like I always do. It’s strange, really, the profound effect that a mere cup of this brown stuff can have on you, especially in the moments after consuming your first of many doses for the day. For me, it’s the one ritualistic thing I can do immediately after waking and pissing that keeps me from entertaining the fantasies I always have of retiring once again toRead More

I can easily admit that I can be seen as one of those girls who are serial, monogamous daters. Jumping from one relationship to another, and in between relationships, consistently getting my heart wound up by different men. I wear my heart on my sleeve: pretty words, tender compliments, and promises of longevity and a future together have always been my kryptonite. Everything was just easier when I had someone with me. Someone loving me, telling me how important we were to each other, and then eventually leading to aRead More

Billy Joe Armstrong, the singer of Green Day, wrote the song “Waiting” and the title identifies some of the lyrics (feel free to continue singing along). As a young teenager, this song did not have much meaning other than it was a cool song written by my favorite band (at the time). However, as I have grown throughout high school and now, as a senior in college graduating in May, I definitely have a different perspective on this song. When I first entered college, I had no idea that timeRead More

With every year you get older, don’t you miss the magic of Halloween just a little bit more? I mean, don’t get me wrong, I love partying as much as the next guy, and Halloween is one of my favorite holidays to get a little bit weird. But you know what I mean. When you’re young, Halloween is exciting for many other reasons. When you’re young and naive and have no fucking idea how the world works, Halloween is a legitimately magical holiday. The spooky stuff – ghosts and monstersRead More

It was eighty-four degrees in San Francisco and I was riding the bus after concurrently confessing my love and breaking up with a boy I had been dating.  On our first date I told him that my brother had brain cancer.  I had just discovered the fact myself and wasn’t sure what the protocol was for these things in regard to first dates. Was it a sit-at-home-and-panic or an attend-with-pocketed-Xanax sort of situation? The idea of distraction and a lovely, little pill that allowed me to abandon anxiety for fourRead More

There’s nothing like a nice cocktail after a long day. There are hundreds of cocktail recipes out there, classics like Cosmos and Old Fashioneds, and then more obscure cocktails, like the ones below. Let’s be honest, not everyone keeps bitters on hand. We’re not all born bartenders. These cocktails are more practical, more convenient. Here are the essential cocktail recipes for everyday life. The Bad Day What You’ll Need: Vodka, anger, a desperate desire to numb it all. Directions: Pour vodka directly into your throat. Wince. Ask yourself if youRead More

Sometimes being short is not a big deal (ha, that pun wasn’t intended). But I’ll level with you–90% of the time it’s really annoying. Also, that pun was intended. Here’s some of the most annoying parts of being short. I couldn’t think of a pun that time.   1. That awkward moment when you can’t fully see over the steering wheel and you realize you’re basically those old ladies driving like with their hands at eye-level…   2. …And the subsequent awkward moment when you have to buy a seatRead More