Miscellaneous Category

3 months of living at home after college and the misery that accompanies such a mistake nearly devoured my spirit.  I decided on a flimsy whim to move to Utah at the invitation of an old high school friend.  Provo, UT was the strangest choice of pit stops on my post-grad real world adult life beginnings.  Living in one the of the most conservative cities in the U.S. for 9 months, where 98% of the population is Mormon, was certainly different and mostly interesting.  I’d like to think this importantRead More

  Record 15: Laguna Beach, Tuesday, July 5th, 2012. Day. Axel’s parents were wealthy. They had a 3 story mansion just off the PCH with an elevator and a live-in maid they called Rosario, which wasn’t her actual name. It was a name applied to her. A name they gave her. A name she accepted because they paid her a maid’s fortune and allowed her access to the family golf cart. But this story is not about Rosario. It’s not about Axel’s parents’ 3 story elevator house that they noRead More

In this day and age, committing the perfect crime is becoming increasingly difficult. With the advent of advanced forensic sciences, and with news being constantly disseminated via television and Internet, very few crimes produce more questions than answers. This is why we are still mystified and intrigued by crimes that seem unsolvable, even in the age of surveillance cameras and DNA databases. However, these cases persist, stumping investigators and the general public alike. Whether they are decades-old cold cases or new incidents defying explanation, unsolved crimes make for some ofRead More

So I walk into a party with a friend the other weekend, and I’m excited because it is allegedly going to be rife with people in New York City whom I do not know but who are, according to my friend, totally my kind of people. (Not sure what this means, exactly, but I go with it). Some of them might be dudes who I befriend and introduce me to girls they think would be a good match for me, ultimately resulting in my wedded bliss. Or they might just beRead More

Record 13: Corona del Mar, Monday July 5th, 2010. Day. The waiter at Ruby’s was chewing gum. It didn’t matter that his outfit was cleanly pressed and perfect fitting. He was chewing gum, and Arendt wasn’t having it. “Just who in the hell. Am I right?” He asked. Or stated. Or maybe both? “You’re always right, Arendt.” I said, wiping sweaty bangs from my forehead, an affectation I’d developed in the 90-degree heat (with 40% humidity). “Rosie, do not placate me.” “I’m not sure you know what that word means.”Read More

Some days we have the rush of work, managing relationships and taking care of ourselves. Other days we have nothing to do besides stare at the wall. I think I am more of a night owl because my deepest thoughts come out at night, as well as my to-do list, and my friends. Some days we may lose ourselves and think we cannot move on or think we are at the end of no return. Keep the positivity, and carry out these 9 things each night when you find yourRead More

Borough to borough, couch to couch, this story is almost a rite of passage for any and all making the transition from small town to big city. I know, I know, it’s nothing new and you’ve heard it before. Upon my telling of the plans I had to become a sort of nomad to friends and family, I received a lot of concerned, confused, and utterly annoyed looks. “You’re not going to survive, you know that.” Here’s the deal: you can survive, 100% cardboard-box-house prototype-free with a little bit ofRead More

It’s our anniversary but I’m experiencing it without you. August 18th marks the day we parted ways; you for a destination that people consider to be a “better place,” and me to a place that I have not found yet. I hope your taste buds are delighting in a huge bowl of ice cream right now because that was our sacred ritual. Honestly, ice cream makes everything better; if only we could be savoring each bite with one another the way we used to do. Our separation was one ofRead More

Bananas are typically a gentle, mellow fruit.  The shell of their sweet meat is a harbinger of peace and tranquility.  Generally harmless, these fruits can exhibit passive signs of aggressiveness (should they be provoked) that, if not taken seriously, could lead to major repercussions for our diet as human beings.  Here are some things to avoid:   1. Separating it from its bunch Bananas are a pack fruit, they hang out in family groups–much like the Brady bunch.  In fact, a group of wild bananas is referred to as aRead More

The NYC rush hour commute is a test of patience, awareness, and morality; all of which, most commuters lack. That said, it is beyond my comprehension why anyone would think occupying city sidewalks as a human roadblock at this time is a good idea. And I’m not just referring to the thousands of city goers with no concept of their surroundings either. I mean those obnoxious, tactless, less-of-a-human individuals who have made it their purpose in life to stand between commuters and their destinations. Whether it’s a comedy show orRead More

A strange thing happened to me when I started working in marketing and advertising: I started to look at everything within the context of marketing and advertising. I wouldn’t say I’ve become obsessed with branding; it’s more like my eye for and appreciation of branding has bled from my work life into the rest of it, so that I can no longer discern the two. For the layman: a brand is a name or other feature that makes one product distinct from its competition. And a huge part of anyRead More

Record 12: Pomona, Friday, July 5th, 2013. Day. Kenny Yamaha and I had been standing outside the Fox Theater for two hours, waiting to be let in. Kenny thought the doors opened at 7, but that was fucking wrong. I told him this a few times and he just drank his coffee, like ‘whatever man, fucking chill about it.’ So I fucking chilled about it and didn’t bring it up. Even though it’s now 8, and dark, and we’re in Pomona. Pomona fucking California. Have you ever been to PomonaRead More

Unless you’re a trust-fund babe living in a coked-out fantasyland, you have a job.  According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, 15.7 percent of us work in wholesale or retail trade.  In other words, 15.7 percent of the workforce doesn’t remember what a weekend feels like.  For some people, it’s the job they hope to have for years.  For the rest of us, it’s simply a job we work while keeping our eyes wide open for bigger and better possibilities.  While it seems like most of my friends have movedRead More

Record 11: Huntington Beach, Thursday, July 5th, 2012. Day. There is a merman that lives in Huntington Beach. This man is a certified swim instructor. He teaches young children and, occasionally, old men and women the backstroke. He teaches them how to tread water. He provides them with the necessary flotation devices, should they be required (note: flotation devices are not always required. This depends, of course, upon the trainee’s swimming proficiency). This man spends his free time at the beach, donning a golden spandex merman tail. He wears thisRead More

So I live with two random dudes. I don’t know them (it’s a long story) and before you ask, no I’m not sleeping with either of them. Usually it’s totally cool and living with guys is better in some ways than living with girls (a topic I will cover soon, coming to an article near you). Except. Except this morning when one of my roommates (I don’t know which one) took a full 40 minutes in the bathroom. 40! It made me a half hour late to work all becauseRead More