After reading an article in the local free paper about Summer flings, I started thinking about all of the different kinds of flings that exist. While the summer fling is the most common, there are plenty more that are not so often defined. The five most common flings are: the Summer fling, the vacation fling, the party fling, the work fling, and the class fling. While seeing them stated in these terms may feel awkward I’m sure we have all experienced or witnessed one of these five. The biggest, but one of the few, issues with flings is knowing how and when to cut them off. Another problem is the struggle with any kind of relationship, defining it. Both sides knowing that it is a fling is very import for it to be successful. Having experienced a few of them myself I’ve come up with terms and conditions that would be wasted if not shared. For those of you living in or considering the possibilities of a fling, I hope this will be of service in your journey. I am not the end all be all, but I have seen a thing or two.
Most of you know this one, but I’ll touch on it just in case.
Obviously it takes place in the Summer time. Summer tends to be a more relaxed time in general. College students are out of classes, and many jobs calm down for a few months. This makes it easier to give time to someone new. This extra time and all sorts of street festivals and other outdoor events condense what would take months to accomplish during the rest of the year. Because of the relaxed time of year and environment the relationships tend to be emotionally relaxed as well. An end time is likely in sights around the beginning of September so the pressure of wondering if it will last is far removed.
Most people in a Summer fling know and accept the ever approaching end point, while others believe they can beat the system and carry the relationship on into Fall. With changing leaves come changing lives. The spontaneous girl with the great tan has to go back to 18 credit hours and a retail job. And the mountain man with the great beard goes back to clean shaven. For those who can pull through as the reality sets in, good for you; you are far and few between. For everyone else, remember to cut it off while it is still light hearted and full of good memories. Trying to keep it moving from across the country, world, or just campus is a totally different ballgame when sweater weather arrives.
The vacation fling is very much like the Summer fling only shorter. Vacation is more carefree than summer. It is a week specifically breaking from daily life and anything can happen, especially romance. You are both likely far from home and everything else familiar, why not take the risk and buy her a drink?
Because it is so similar to the Summer fling, I will not get into much detail except the end. Vacation flings do not have any business continuing once everyone has packed up and gone home. Oddly enough though, this one is okay to add on social media and if he is still single when you drive through Iowa, he is definitely layover material. But to remain only a vacation fling interaction must always remain shorter than the vacation on which you met. Any extra amount of time and you begin to border a whole different relationship, distance.
The party fling is very different than the summer and vacation flings. This one tends to run over an extended period of time only taking place on the weekends. A party fling centers around the party scene. Two people meet at a party and hook up. The next night they attend another same party and hook up again. After that weekend, numbers are exchanged and it starts to become an every weekend thing. This fling is strategic and symbiotic. Neither half of the fling is ever out of the loop for a party and there is always a guaranteed after party. This is by no means an exclusive relationship, unless both flingers are present. In the same way it does not exist during the workweek. This fling serves its purposes and then like a good child is neither seen nor heard until called upon.
The work fling is the most risky of the flings. Most companies have policies about employees fraternizing, at least crossing over managerial lines. Although this is one I have not had the opportunity to participate in, I have witnessed up close and personal, and not by choice.
Two coworkers I had a few jobs ago would sneak off into one of the unused stock rooms to make out during their shifts. They thought they were being discreet and no one knew. We all knew and covered for them to the managers when they wouldn’t answer over the walkies.
When it comes to work flings, do everyone a favor and keep the real fun outside of the workplace. The flirting is okay, I mean the workplace fling would not be possible without the flirting, but don’t risk your job or anyone else’s by making it possible to get caught on the job. So if you are dabbling in this risky business, make sure to check company policy or at least make sure you have something else lined up if you plan on breaking the rules in plain sight.
Last but not least is the class fling which also happens to be my personal favorite. There is no specific time limit on this one but the other specifications mean everything. It always starts while you are in class with the person, sparking from across the room eye contact or his defense of your project proposal. Next thing you know he has added you on facebook and you’re stalking his life back to high school. While this fling began with you two in the same class it is welcome to extend longer, but to remain a fling it has to remember that. Class flings are majorly defined by the fact that no one in class knows. This is between the two of you and a set of sheets. When you can both step out of class around the same time and into a broom closet without notice, you know that you are doing it right.
All of you in a fling or thinking of future fling possibilities, remember to keep it classy, casual, and inconspicuous.