Yearly Archives: "2014"

I still have yet to find the words to describe it, but Middle Earth is, in my humble opinion, an unrivaled fictional world. Tolkien immortalized his literary prowess with The Hobbit and The Lord of the Rings, which was only confirmed a decade ago with the popularity the film series put together by Peter Jackson. The release of The Hobbit films over the past three years has gotten me incredibly giddy, and I will start by saying that I am thrilled that this saga did not go the way ofRead More

“Long distance is hard.”  -Everyone It was years ago the first time it happened.  He lived in New York.  Brooklyn, to be exact.  I was living in San Francisco.  Where we met:  the Caesars Palace pool.  He was tall, (deviously) charming, and had just gotten his Masters at Stanford.  I was impressed but so what?  Why would anyone get involved with someone who lived in a different city, especially one on the other side of the country?   I mean, seriously.  Maybe it was the dizzying Vegas sun or theRead More

-Victoria Justice- Twitter: @VictoriaJustice Instagram: victoriajustice Known for: Being a former Nickelodeon starlet, her burgeoning musical career, and her role in the upcoming MTV show Eye Candy. -Last week we featured an angel from Victoria’s Secret, this week, we bring you an angel named Victoria Justice! This former Nickelodeon star has expanded to the realms of music and more grown up television acting. Victoria is set to star in the new MTV series Eye Candy, which debuts this January. Whether the show will be any good is a moot point – I’m sure plenty of peopleRead More

When you’re on a date with someone and there’s a lull in the conversation, sometimes that lull grows into a black hole of silence that there is no returning from. And the more you realize it’s growing, the more you panic, the deeper you sink into the quicksand of quiet. So before it gets to the eerie point of a borderline monastic silence, you should enlist the Art of So. The Art of So is centered on the theory that people love to talk about themselves. This is usually theRead More

You know how sometimes you get text messages from friends that just kind of irritate you? Maybe it’s a hostile “K” or a passive aggressive “:)” or maybe it’s just a “hahah.” And you think, “Hahaha?” That’s not a response. Those aren’t words. Those are sounds. You sent me sounds. How am I supposed to respond to that? Right, so texting has become this enigma of conversation where we laugh, but aren’t actually laughing and send smiles when no smiles are actually occurring and that’s all fine and well becauseRead More

The holiday season is here, and, for many of us, that means going home to the places and the people that have been watching us grow up. Returning home means running into everyone I never wanted to see again at one of the five bars in my hometown and having to relearn how to drive a car after months of walking and taking the subway. It means getting to eat my mom’s bombass breakfasts and snuggle with my cat whenever he lets me. It means spending every second with myRead More

Lunch Break   Blah Blah Blah Change. I notice some loose conversation going on near me. I look up from my tuna salad sandwich that I brought with me for my short lunch break to a harsh realization – it’s almost 2015. This is around the time people start to reflect on the year that they have just survived. It’s around the time where people begin to point out the failures of the past twelve months, usually while cradling a bottle of vodka and sobbing to the music of MarvinRead More

The masterminds at Piehole Whiskey who brought us Apple Pie, Cherry Pie, and Pecan Pie whiskey have been busy concocting delicious recipes to help us party this holiday season. We owe them a big thank you, so show some love by treating yourself to these delectable drinks.     Just Like Ma’s Ingredients: 1.25 oz Piehole Apple Pie .25 oz Stirrings Ginger Flavored Liqueur 1 dash of angostura bitters Splash of sour mix Glassware: Shotglass Preparation: Add ingredients to an ice-filled shaker. Shake and strain into a shot glass. AppleRead More

Like it or not, alcohol and pie are two staples of American gatherings, especially those involving family. Whiskey is often thought of as a “man’s drink,” and women who fraternize with such strong beverages are revered by less bold onlookers. The truth is, whiskey is an everyone drink, especially when it’s pie-flavored. That’s right, the geniuses at Piehole have blessed us with Apple Pie, Cherry Pie, and Pecan Pie flavored whiskey, and I have been lucky enough to try all three. When challenged with creating my own recipe using Piehole Whiskey, IRead More

Dear Shitty Parents, I know this is not a polite way to start off a letter, but who the fuck do you think you are?  There is not enough coffee in the world to protect me from your OC superiority complex.  I know I smile a lot.  And yes, I’m pretty damn good at making the Children’s Department look like Disneyland.  However, I did not think it was endearing that you referred to me as a “super nanny.”  I am a stressed out twenty-something trying to make some money whileRead More

It happened.  The best night of the year, in my opinion – the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show. I haven’t missed a show since I was 15 and now beautiful things such as DVR and smart phones allow me to watch the entirety of display of perfection at my own convenience. If my assumptions are correct, it would be safe to say that more girls are excited to watch 47 models display breathtaking beauty than most men. I’ll admit it. I’m more excited than most of my guy friends.   TheseRead More

Hey Brian!   How’s it going man? Still rocking that 8th grade haircut?   So I was recently watching The Daily Show when I saw a brief clip of what you said to Jon Stewart (http://youtu.be/9To_NyVryxM), and boy, Jon is right.   Giving you the benefit of the doubt, maybe it’s just the lying (http://www.washingtonpost.com/blogs/erik-wemple/wp/2014/07/08/punditfact-scorecards-show-false-statements-on-fox-news-nbcmsnbc/), horrible news network you work for and their destructive culture that has got you saying things so petty. I mean, I can’t believe you really support eugenics (http://www.huffingtonpost.com/2009/07/20/brian-kilmeade-apologizes_n_241135.html). Maybe being on TV everyday and having to just keepRead More

All men everywhere, I am certain, have wondered at least once what their underwear choice says about them. And let’s not disregard the neurotic women of the Millennial generation that Google-search this exact title moments after Paul, or Greg, or Jeff with the butt-chin has left her sexed sheets on a Sunday morning. Mark Twain insists that one should “write what you know.” After years of observations, demonstrations, and ruminations of friends, landlords, brothers, and a significant others of the straight and semi-straight variety and their chonies I feel confidentRead More

Remember when you placed second in that declamation contest back in sixth grade? That supporting role you played during a school event? Or that masterpiece you worked hard day and night for but wasn’t published? You know you won’t let yourself forget all those so-called mediocrities, so you just sulk in your nook and cringe your way through the day trying to convince yourself you’ll never be good enough for anything, for anyone. You get so shell-shocked with all that has been going inside your brain, thinking about every possibleRead More

-Candice Swanpoel- Twitter: @angelcandice Instagram: angelcandices Known for: Being the hottest of all the Victoria’s Secret angels. -In case you missed it, the Victoria’s Secret Fashion Show was aired last night. And because you probably didn’t miss it, chances are you noticed the blonde bombshell that stole the entire show – Candice Swanpoel. This South African beauty doesn’t need me to gush about her here, her looks do it all on their own.                              Read More