I knew it right away, after our first date, heading back to my apartment on the Metro line eight; this girl was different, awesomely different. We talked for hours as we wandered at dusk from the bars on Ile St. Louis to bars on Cité, listening to street musicians. Maybe it was Paris, maybe I became mature enough to chill out and go with the flow (probably not), or maybe it’s that she’s just a uniquely awesome girl (probably so), but also, maybe it’s just European women. In any case,
Read MoreI laughed with girlfriends over drinks in regard to the female phenomenon of making excuses for the guys we date. We admitted to how pathetic we could be, constructing covers for their lack of communication and attention, “He just has had a really busy week,” “He is just scared of how much he likes me.” We discussed these delusions that we make up in our minds in response to a text that takes less time to type and send than it does to fart. I am fatigued from generating the reassurance
Read MoreWe’ve all heard of the work-life balance, a.k.a. “don’t sit in front of a computer for 50 years and not see all the cool shit outside of the office too.” You go to work, and then you hang out with friends who know nothing about your office other than your complaints about the heavy breather and obsession with the new cute coworker (and prayers that you don’t get reported to HR). Every once in a while, you find yourself in the twilight zone known as a work happy hour, where
Read MoreWhen you think of two guys going out, your brain immediately goes to a show on Bravo. But that’s not what I’m talking about. It’s a common misconception that bros cannot go on a date with one another. No, there are no romantic overtones or sexual innuendos intended here. Just two bros enjoying one another’s company. It’s called a man-date, and it exists. I embarked on a man-date of my last night. My buddy and I met at a Brewhouse in Burbank, with the sole intention of having a beer
Read MoreYou’ll know when you’ve met “The One.” That’s what they tell you. Who really knows if that myth exists? You hear it as a child and it’s ingrained into you. Society seems to revolve around this idea of perfect monogamous bliss. It’s the cog in the wheel that keeps civilization going. That ever-elusive enigma they call love. Everyone around you starts to pair up. You see the excitement and love in their eyes and think to yourself, “My time must be coming.” Years pass. Even girlfriends, crushes, and flings pass.
Read MoreSometimes our work-happy hours last longer than expected and we awake the next morning, foggy and furious at our alarm, and must abandon any intention of showering in order to sleep a little bit longer. No, I am not advocating regular avoidance of bathing to match the scent of the homeless man surrounded by pigeons and urine on your walk to the bus, but there are some serious ways to glam up your grunge that every twenty-something should be privy to. 1. Charm Your Chewbacca Legs You have
Read MoreMonogamous relationships can be hard sometimes, but if both parties are willing to work at it, there are a lot of things you can do to keep the love lasting for a long, long time; if that”s what you desire best online payday loans. You might not want to make things work and if that”s the case… there are some awesome ways to break up with someone, without really breaking up with them. Here are some things I believe will make the long haul easier in any relationship. 1.
Read MoreIt sucks. Having a shitty boss is like surviving on rice cakes for the rest of your life. It’s outrageous! It’s unfair, ridiculous, and criminal. Maybe you’re on your 16th draft of a Pros and Cons of Quitting list, or maybe you’re resigned to the fact that your boss is as intelligent and useful as belly button lint–either way, try to see the bright side. Here are some invaluable life lessons you can learn during this time: 1. What Incompetence Looks Like Sort of like how being raised by
Read MoreI have spent the majority of my teenage and adult years as a mindful observer of the dating scene. For the most of my college career, I played the role of the single friend that dished out (solicited) relationship advice and built her buddies back up after brutal breakups. Occasionally, I caught flak from friends and family for not experiencing enough of the dating scene first-hand. Apparently it’s a widely accepted notion that the only way to determine what you want and need out of relationships is to work your
Read MoreWhile I’m aware I’ll have to survive off fantasies of a world without texting, I know I can fight for one cause… Please, dear God, stop texting your boss. Why? Texting has already ruined every relationship in your life. Let’s go through a mental checklist: Lovers? Deleted your number awhile ago. Friends? Sick of the same stories. Parents? Don’t even call you anymore. You? It’s so over… (because you just killed yourself in a texting and driving accident) Did anyone text me? No. What about now? Hmm. Hmm. Hmmm. Oh now?
Read MoreWhoever said that breaking up with someone is hard to do was probably doing it the right way. And when you’re involved in a serious relationship, the break-up can be as colossal and gruesome as the casualties of the Civil War. However, a break-up after dating for only a few weeks, or even a few months, only has to be as mildly uncomfortable as a secret wedgie. You haven’t been dating quite long enough to warrant a face-to-face break-up, or even a voicemail, but it needs to end. We’re above
Read MoreSometimes we need a little pick-me-up. Spring is approaching, and with weddings and reunions on the calendar, we will be reunited with friends we haven’t seen in awhile because we are done hibernating and the sun is out. You’re going to be asked about your profession, your love life, and if you’ve signed up for any half-marathons. Panic can present itself when we are thrown into these events after a winter of eating Girl Scout cookies and Tinder dates (not eating the dates…you know what I mean). Here are five simple steps
Read MoreYour twenties are a decade to learn, grow, and make mistakes. Below are the most important lessons
I have learned so far. 1. Despite how much they are jiggled in your face like a shake weight, transvestites with prosthetic breasts and penises, will not enjoy you grabbing their breasts for a picture, even if they are working at a transvestite restaurant. 2. Check. Your. Oil. When the lever on your oil gauge moves back and forth from empty to full, your car, also known as Betty, has not
Read MoreInspirational quotes and motivational posters can be good things. Sometimes they can be just the thing you need to give you an idea or create a spark that can change your life. However, in reference to the droves of Pinterest circle jerks and Facebook reposts, I think it’s important to realize that there’s a lot that goes beyond a simple sentence on a physical or virtual wall. It’s often referred to as life – and sometimes it sucks and is unfair, sometimes things won’t make you stronger, and sometimes you
Read MoreWith public transportation run-ins, Tinder, OKcupid, Grouper and nights out on the town, young adulthood boasts an impressive collection of resources to meet people, presenting us with options and people we may not have ever met otherwise, proving to be both a good and bad thing. Below is a collection of men you just shouldn’t date under any circumstances. 1. The Travel Titan What happens abroad should stay abroad. Just because you realize a foreign-landed fling has moved to the same city as you, you do not need to
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