lifestyle Tag

While I’m aware I’ll have to survive off fantasies of a world without texting, I know I can fight for one cause… Please, dear God, stop texting your boss. Why? Texting has already ruined every relationship in your life. Let’s go through a mental checklist: Lovers? Deleted your number awhile ago. Friends? Sick of the same stories. Parents? Don’t even call you anymore. You? It’s so over… (because you just killed yourself in a texting and driving accident) Did anyone text me? No. What about now? Hmm. Hmm. Hmmm. Oh now?Read More

Is your productivity at an all-time low? Have trouble getting up on time? Prefer to play video games or watch trashy TV shows than getting your work or studying done? CARROT produces a few apps that will help you break those shitty habits and send you on the road to being the productive adult you’ve always wanted to be.   Meet CARROT Are you the type of person who doesn’t get stuff done unless someone is constantly badgering you to do it? Meet CARROT, your new best friend…if your bestRead More

Last spring I got out of the Marine Corps and decided to go on a road trip to enjoy all the freedom I had been busy fighting over for the last five years.  I’m not sure what a country with no Air Force or Navy or any hostile Army at all has to do with American freedom, but that’s what I was told.  I was originally going to go solo, but I ended up taking my little sister along.  I initially said “hell no” when she asked, but I thoughtRead More

1. A Friendchip Party Celebrate the power of friendship with a chip potluck!  Potato chips could stand alone as my lifelong romantic interest, I love them so deeply.  I beg you to supply me with a human who doesn’t crave her crunch so that I can fix her.  Just imagine the rich diversity of a chip potluck.  The assortment of dips.  Chips of different color, categories, and socioeconomic backgrounds, all gathered together in harmony.  Doritos next to sweet potato chips, kale chips next to sour cream and onion Lays.  TheRead More

My last post might have gotten you started on some thoughts for piercings, maybe in addition to my previous musings on tattoos. Hopefully I’ve shed some light on the deal-io with common body modifications and I didn’t send you running. That part about infections was pretty fucking gnarly, though. Anyway, today I aim to poke into some more touchy areas (see what I did there?). Incidentally, do you think I use parentheses too much? Unlike tattoos, you get second-chances with piercings. You can always take them out. Here is oneRead More

Piercing is the new black. Okay, maybe it’s the old black. I know, I know, piercings became cheesy and cliché the minute AJ from the Backstreet Boys paired up a couple silver lobe-loops with some medium-hold/high-shine hair gel and a fedora for the “I Want It That Way” video (dope pants, btw…I digress.) Maybe the 90’s eye-brow rings stay there with the Backstreet Boys (though I think we agree wall-ball needs to make a comeback) but people, I promise you a well-placed piece of metal can be the most funRead More

As we all know, not much these days comes free. Far more things come incredibly expensive. And while the price tag on certain items can be reasonably justified, there exist innumerable products that are simply never worth the cash. The following six things are simply NOT worth ponying up lots of dough for, period. Some of them are quality products but can be replaced with much cheaper alternatives, some of them you have no reason to ever purchase. Just remember, kids: what you WANT and what you NEED are twoRead More

As a twenty-something, you’re at a major crossroads in your life.  You’ve graduated college, or are so close that you can taste it – the stale beer, that is. You’ve already had a taste of being abroad, whether it involved studying abroad with your classes in a foreign language, or a spring break trip to Cabo. At this point, you’re settling into a phase of your life where you’re expected to be semi-responsible, which is making that creeping wanderlust you’re still feeling an issue. On the one hand, your twentiesRead More

“Thailand? You went to Thailand?” And so begins any conversation about Taiwan. Many expatriates will tell you the confusion between Thailand and Taiwan is common. I mean, they sound the same. And isn’t Taiwan in China? Why go there and not Japan, Thailand, Laos, (insert favorite Asian country)? After two years living in Taoyuan, Taiwan, I can tell you: there is every reason to make your next stop Taiwan. Forget Thailand, forget Laos. Come to the rolling hills of bamboo, the marble mountains, the people welcoming you at every turn.Read More

You know what ultra-sucks? Not being a kid anymore. When you’re small, school is literally a bunch of games. Everything is interesting. You can get away with murder. I remember when I was at the zenith of my bucktoothed adorableness I broke into my neighbor’s house in order steal their kid’s kickball and got away with it (I also ate most of their peanut butter straight out of the jar. With my fingers. And I regret NOTHING). Yep, being a kid pretty much rules, and even angsty adolescents generally don’tRead More

I recently had a girl, with a shockingly difficult sounding diet, move in with me. She is gluten intolerant AND lactose intolerant. And on top of that, she can’t eat anything with corn/corn sugars in it for some time, meaning potatoes and corn tortillas are out as well. At first I thought: Holy cow..What CAN this girl eat? Rice, some veggies, and fruit??? I would die! I was correct—her diet is extremely limited, especially for a 6’2” girl who should be putting down 2,300 calories per day. However, to my surprise,Read More

Has it been too long since you learned some facts? Would you like to think about sex under the guise of learning? Well, fear not, #writtalifers, because I am here to take care of you. Sperm has a sense of smell.   The largest natural breasts in the world, according to the Guinness Book of World Records, measure (drumroll, please…) 70 INCHES, OR, 5.83 FEET. I wish I could capitalize numbers for emphasis, because my back hurts just thinking about that. Some women can orgasm from their nipples. Some canRead More

Everyone has their personal list of “no-nos” for what they think is acceptable when gettin’ it on. Be that as it may, here are a few “don’ts” that I  hope would be on everyone’s list: #1 – Socks I don’t know about you, but I think keeping your socks on during sex is just weird. Sex is something you’re supposed to do naked, and to keep that one awkward article on is just silly. It’s not hard to take those socks off, so just do it. #2 – Criticism No one likesRead More

Are you broke and hungry? A starving college student or recent graduate with no culinary expertise…or money? Here’s how you can eat breakfast, lunch, and dinner for a week – all for under $60.   It may sound crazy, but local farmers markets, such as Sprouts, can be one of the cheapest grocery stores… even compared to corporate stores such as Safeway or King Soopers. Stores that get most of their produce locally tend to have not only better, organic foods, but shockingly low prices as well. Through my yearsRead More

Let’s face it: tattoos are in. You’re not about to make a shocking counter-culture statement with a Sailor Jerry swallow on your forearm. But that’s not to say you shouldn’t get one – tats are part of the modern zeitgeist. The long journey of body mods (which can easily become your internet rabbit-hole for the day) goes from ritual, to exotic, to deviant, to mainstream, and has culminated in this glorious blank canvas of possibility for the current generation of Millennials to splatter their lives all over. As I reflectRead More