Miscellaneous Tag

Gays are lucky. We don’t just get one BAE, we have numerous BAEs that together form our inner-BAE circle. We use them, in the best ways, to make our life complete and full of adventure, gossip, and wine.   1. Spontaneous BAE This is the BAE you don’t make plans with weeks in advance. They’re the early morning text message saying, “Wanna do something today?” and you go because you know that when the two of you are together there is never a dull moment. They’re the getting lost inRead More

Shade is an attitude, a form of expression, a lifestyle. Below are some common faces of Shade that happen on the regular, and are always #judgingyou.   1. The “…hmmm” confused shade Examples of when and where this shade could be used: – When someone is trying to push their beliefs on you. – When the teacher is explaining the upcoming assignment.     2. The “… uhh whatever..” Shade Examples of when and where this shade could be used: – When someone beat you in a debate (i.e. Amber vs.Read More

Record 16: Torrance, CA, Tuesday, July 5th, 2011. Night. I’m not going to tell you that I like what I do. I do what I do because when I do it I don’t do it poorly. So what is IT? Let’s break IT down: (note: I’m using numbers instead of letters for arbitrary reasons that I don’t feel like explaining because I write for free and explaining arbitrary reasons defeats the arbitrariness of those reasons). 1. I have sex with old women. Not older women. OLD women. 2. I don’tRead More

Dear Awkward Teenager, I’m staring my late-twenties in the face, but I still couldn’t tell you the details of their anatomy. It’s funny how I still manage to daydream the way you do during 4th period only to be awoken by the lunch bell. So much changes, but so much stays the same. Trust me on this, sometimes it’s best to just embrace the unknown as opposed to finding out the answers immediately. Honestly, some questions or prayers will go unanswered for what seems like an eternity, but that’s onlyRead More

My randomly-assigned roommate freshman year wasn’t bad.  The most annoying thing about her was her noisy love for video games and her intense love of cats.  (Also, she collected these weird naked baby figurines).  Besides that, she was just any old person.  The main reason why resentment started to grow between us is because we shared a space, a single room.  After 6 months, we fell into silence forever. Anyway, I’m a journaler.  I loved writing in my journals and I’m sure she saw me scribbling away numerous times intoRead More

3 months of living at home after college and the misery that accompanies such a mistake nearly devoured my spirit.  I decided on a flimsy whim to move to Utah at the invitation of an old high school friend.  Provo, UT was the strangest choice of pit stops on my post-grad real world adult life beginnings.  Living in one the of the most conservative cities in the U.S. for 9 months, where 98% of the population is Mormon, was certainly different and mostly interesting.  I’d like to think this importantRead More

  Record 15: Laguna Beach, Tuesday, July 5th, 2012. Day. Axel’s parents were wealthy. They had a 3 story mansion just off the PCH with an elevator and a live-in maid they called Rosario, which wasn’t her actual name. It was a name applied to her. A name they gave her. A name she accepted because they paid her a maid’s fortune and allowed her access to the family golf cart. But this story is not about Rosario. It’s not about Axel’s parents’ 3 story elevator house that they noRead More

In this day and age, committing the perfect crime is becoming increasingly difficult. With the advent of advanced forensic sciences, and with news being constantly disseminated via television and Internet, very few crimes produce more questions than answers. This is why we are still mystified and intrigued by crimes that seem unsolvable, even in the age of surveillance cameras and DNA databases. However, these cases persist, stumping investigators and the general public alike. Whether they are decades-old cold cases or new incidents defying explanation, unsolved crimes make for some ofRead More

So I walk into a party with a friend the other weekend, and I’m excited because it is allegedly going to be rife with people in New York City whom I do not know but who are, according to my friend, totally my kind of people. (Not sure what this means, exactly, but I go with it). Some of them might be dudes who I befriend and introduce me to girls they think would be a good match for me, ultimately resulting in my wedded bliss. Or they might just beRead More

Record 13: Corona del Mar, Monday July 5th, 2010. Day. The waiter at Ruby’s was chewing gum. It didn’t matter that his outfit was cleanly pressed and perfect fitting. He was chewing gum, and Arendt wasn’t having it. “Just who in the hell. Am I right?” He asked. Or stated. Or maybe both? “You’re always right, Arendt.” I said, wiping sweaty bangs from my forehead, an affectation I’d developed in the 90-degree heat (with 40% humidity). “Rosie, do not placate me.” “I’m not sure you know what that word means.”Read More

Some days we have the rush of work, managing relationships and taking care of ourselves. Other days we have nothing to do besides stare at the wall. I think I am more of a night owl because my deepest thoughts come out at night, as well as my to-do list, and my friends. Some days we may lose ourselves and think we cannot move on or think we are at the end of no return. Keep the positivity, and carry out these 9 things each night when you find yourRead More

Borough to borough, couch to couch, this story is almost a rite of passage for any and all making the transition from small town to big city. I know, I know, it’s nothing new and you’ve heard it before. Upon my telling of the plans I had to become a sort of nomad to friends and family, I received a lot of concerned, confused, and utterly annoyed looks. “You’re not going to survive, you know that.” Here’s the deal: you can survive, 100% cardboard-box-house prototype-free with a little bit ofRead More

New Mayor of Minnesota Town is Barking Orders Literally though. The town of Cormorant elected a 7 year old dog named Duke as their mayor. Voters paid one dollar to cast their votes and apparently Duke won by a landside! The runner up, a human, did not have even half as many votes. Not sure what sort of rules he’ll put into place. But his salary consists of a lifetime supply of food. Wish that was the price for human mayors. I’d totally run if that were the case. TeenagerRead More

It’s our anniversary but I’m experiencing it without you. August 18th marks the day we parted ways; you for a destination that people consider to be a “better place,” and me to a place that I have not found yet. I hope your taste buds are delighting in a huge bowl of ice cream right now because that was our sacred ritual. Honestly, ice cream makes everything better; if only we could be savoring each bite with one another the way we used to do. Our separation was one ofRead More

Bananas are typically a gentle, mellow fruit.  The shell of their sweet meat is a harbinger of peace and tranquility.  Generally harmless, these fruits can exhibit passive signs of aggressiveness (should they be provoked) that, if not taken seriously, could lead to major repercussions for our diet as human beings.  Here are some things to avoid:   1. Separating it from its bunch Bananas are a pack fruit, they hang out in family groups–much like the Brady bunch.  In fact, a group of wild bananas is referred to as aRead More