rants Tag

If only Facebook had a dislike button… If Facebook users everywhere could just NOT be that guy…that’d be great.     1. Inviting friends to play Candy Crush Listen up Candy Crushers, we are all very much aware of the inescapable presence of Candy Crush on Facebook. So if we don’t have it, it’s because we have no interest in playing it, and therefore made a conscious decision not to download it. Maybe you’re a first time offender and didn’t consider the aftermath that could potentially stem from you clicking theRead More

The difference between your early twenties and your mid-twenties is vast. Once you hit your mid-twenties you’re welcome into a strange world where planning for retirement becomes a thing that you actually have to start thinking about, a world where everyone on MTV is younger than you, a world where you get invited to more weddings than keggers, a world where you can’t eat McDonalds because it’s “too greasy.” It’s basically the Twilight Zone. Another cool, fun thing about being in your mid-twenties is that you enter into a constantRead More

1. Putting out those “Leave your S.O. for me, he/she can’t love you like I can” songs. My bae, God’s voice bestowed upon us in human earthly form, Sam Smith has this song called “Leave Your Lover,” which is exactly what it sounds like. Like bruhhhh, why does this trope exist? Of course her man can’t love her like you can, but maybe that’s why she chose to be with him over you? You think you can love her “more,” that’s debatable, but more is not necessarily better. You can putRead More

If you were to Google the burgeoning metropolis of Bakersfield, California you would find it is known for many things. Aside from carrots and Buck Owens, Bakersfield has made quite a name for itself as having the worst air quality, the most illiterate citizens, and the place where lost phone calls (and hopes and dreams) go to die, due to terrible cellphone reception. Either Forbes just hates Bakersfield or it really is a barren wasteland pretending to be a functioning society. But for me, Bakersfield has always just been home.Read More

Remember those rules we learned in grade school and if you chose to disobey you had to pull a card or go to detention or lose points/gold stars? That was a big deal at the time and engraved into our brains that I don’t think we could forget them even if we tried. But apparently, it’s come to my attention recently that everyone has grown up and forgotten these basic yet, SUPER IMPORTANT rules. So please let me refresh your childhood memories.     1. Always wash your hands afterRead More

Sometimes we get caught up worrying about the little things. We worry about the bills getting paid, our appearances, what others think of us, North Korea. I’m here to tell you that you shouldn’t sweat the small stuff. Here are some things that you should actually be worrying about.   Aliens Odds are, they’re out there. Think about it. And if they are out there it’s only a matter of time before they come after us. I highly doubt humans are properly equipped to battle Extraterrestrials. Like, hello? Have you watchedRead More

So I walk into a party with a friend the other weekend, and I’m excited because it is allegedly going to be rife with people in New York City whom I do not know but who are, according to my friend, totally my kind of people. (Not sure what this means, exactly, but I go with it). Some of them might be dudes who I befriend and introduce me to girls they think would be a good match for me, ultimately resulting in my wedded bliss. Or they might just beRead More

The Teen Choice Awards aired this past weekend. My 25th birthday is next week. The combination of these two things has brought upon me the realization that I’m getting old. The following is how I know I’m getting old…   I had no idea who any of the “stars” at the Teen Choice Awards were…   …except for Donald Sutherland. He’s a Hollywood legend. Who the hell are those hooligans standing next to him? Seriously. And what’s a Zendaya? Why do all the fan groups name themselves, isn’t that how cultsRead More

Rant: I am so tired of seeing “# Signs You Don’t Have a Grip on Being a Lady” and other shitty titles with 5 million likes and tweets accompanied by messages of understanding. Just because you can’t make a pie, you like to wear pants, and you are comfortable going several days without shaving or plucking a single hair does not mean you’ve lost your grip on femininity; perhaps it means you define it differently. Or maybe you just don’t care about societal expectations and gender roles. You do you.Read More

When you open the door, you’re welcomed with a cool jazz number, the overwhelming aroma of the daily brew, and the enticement of little french pastries that cost close to minimum wage. Ah, Starbucks. I spent six years calling out names, multi-tasking drink orders, donning the green apron, and being considered “stupid in three different languages.” (Thank you, everyone who finds that joke to be original.) My time as a barista with the company was nothing short of rewarding, as I was able to make solid friendships and learn theRead More

The days of casual conversations have been traded in for abbreviated text conversations and Snap Chat exchanges. The “Hello, how are you?” has transitioned to “What’s up?”, and “That’s so funny” to “LOL.” Now these changes don’t just apply to everyday conversations, but rather every human interaction we have nowadays – including the sometimes uncomfortable elevator rides. Now there are probably a few things that people should consider when riding in elevators. For instance, don’t ever do anything personal in an elevator because there is always someone watching…always. Just lookRead More

I don’t listen to the radio often, but today I felt the urge to listen to some top 40 hits. TGIF, ya know? I caught wind of the new Tiesto song, “Wasted.” Or maybe it’s not new, I don’t know what’s on the radio these days. But anyways. I started listening to this song and I mean REALLY listening and all I could think was how every statement in this song is so wrong. So let me break it down for you.   1. “I like it better when we’reRead More

Last week an amazing YouTube video graced the world with its presence. Basically, homegirl just got her wisdom teeth out (ouch) and is still loopy from the anesthesia (ughh jealous). This video was a compilation of vines she posted, that have sense been deleted… but the short clips have become a short film, that will be featured in the Sundance film festival because it is that good. Kidding- but honestly this shit is amazing. She has just expressed every white-girl fantasy in 30 seconds… I mean we were all thinkingRead More

Has anyone else noticed a rise in angry, rude, and unnecessary comments online? Where there used to be likes, up votes, and encouraging comments there are now trolls and real angry words. What caused this shift, and why does it seem to be getting worse? Obviously some people’s mothers forgot to tell them that “if you don’t have anything nice to say, don’t say anything at all.” Aside from missing life advice, there are five things that are definitely contributing to this wave, and there are surely others.  1. NewnessRead More

Record 8: North Hollywood, California, Saturday, July 5th, 2014. Day. Hey man, I’m gonna write you this letter real quick because I have to get back to the warehouse in a few minutes because my dad needs help restocking a buncha breakaway glass. We have to be really careful when we put it up, you know, because it breaks easily and I’ve broken so many of the props before and got grounded for it. That was shitty. My dad made me stay in my room too. He only let meRead More