Girlzone Category

Starting the “I Hate Sara Club” because he clearly hates me. I don’t exactly know what I did, but he totally hates me now. There’s no other explanation. Showing all his friends my text and laughing at it. “Bro, look at this. This bitch just asked me ‘what’s up.’” “Smfh, these girls are so thirsty, man.” At the Verizon store trying to fix his phone because he totally wanted to text me back—he really did—but his phone blew up, like literally, not just from my texts. At the bottom ofRead More

I was home from college for Christmas and bored out of my mind, so I decided to start online dating and blogging about my experiences. That was in 2012. I made some profiles, went on some creepy dates, and became obsessed with tinder like everyone else. I began Tindering while in college to gain writing material and share laughs with my roommates. When I moved to New York about a year ago, I continued Tindering, and it got so weird, so fast. In Texas, a majority of men are raisedRead More

Let me preface this by saying that I found myself wanting to perform a social experiment that I could write about and somehow I ended up here.  Internet Boyfriend.  Also, for those of you who know the sick and freaky world of the internet, let me tell you I was completely safe and made my boundaries very clear from the start.  Inspired by an unfortunate incident of phone-in-toilet and being a month away from an upgrade (which led to the temporary use of an old non-smart phone), I turned toRead More

I’ll say it: if there’s one thing I’m great at, it’s making colossal, oh-god-I-just-fucked-my-whole-life-up mistakes. If I were to trace the origins of this unfortunate trait, I’d say it stems from a combination of me being inherently spacey and not always thinking things all the way through. This will become more evident as the list goes on. Now, I’m by no means perfect, nor do I even completely have my shit together, so take this as a “don’t be like me” cautionary tale. DON’T DO THIS SHIT:   1. LivingRead More

Throughout history, Labor Day has been one of the major holidays that has impacted fashion. In some form or another, I’m sure you have heard the saying “Don’t wear white after Labor Day!” Why is this? Why all of a sudden is a color forbidden? Well, it all started in the 1800’s, early 1900’s.  Wearing white was a symbol of wealth. Since laborers couldn’t afford to take time off of work for vacation they would always wear their blue collar uniforms/outfits. The wealthier would always show of their wealth by wearing whiteRead More

Moving back in with your parents isn’t glamorous.  I think we all know that, some better than others.  But that’s where I’m at–in my childhood home, being stretched to the limits with Mama Darling, Papa Darling, my two adult brothers, and me.  It’s like a second childhood, only minus Sister Darling.  With all these people packed into the house, it’s hard to catch any time alone, but when I do…     1. I Drink a Diet Coke First Thing After Waking Up Let’s be real, it’s 11AM anyways andRead More

Sex is one of those things.   One of those things that can be really good, really bad, unmistakably messy, emotionally entangling, seemingly life changing, and what you have before breakfast some days and after dinner others, like a cupcake.  And in your mid-twenties and outside of a relationship it is usually a combination of power, alcohol and nearly expired condoms that you’ve found in the kitchen drawer and that belonged to three roommates ago. Some of us were raised Catholic with the notion that the only option for our genitals was chastityRead More

It was 10am and my studio smelt like cheap wine.  Everywhere.  My body felt like it had been glued to my unkempt bedding; I couldn’t move.  My eyes wished they had never opened while my mind already wished it was some place else.  So I got up to forget again.  I started stumbling to the fridge and, oh shit.  I found out why my room smelt like wine.  My laptop was laying on the wooden floor of my San Francisco apartment…wet.  What did I do last night?  All I knewRead More

After reading an article in the local free paper about Summer flings, I started thinking about all of the different kinds of flings that exist. While the summer fling is the most common, there are plenty more that are not so often defined. The five most common flings are: the Summer fling, the vacation fling, the party fling, the work fling, and the class fling. While seeing them stated in these terms may feel awkward I’m sure we have all experienced or witnessed one of these five. The biggest, but oneRead More

They say your college years are the time of your life. The years when you go wild, experiment with boys, girls, grandmas, brothers of your best friend, and wake up in bed in Manhattan. You do it all now because after college it’s frowned upon to. This month I celebrated my one-year anniversary of the last time I had sex; my last year as a college student and a full year of no one night stands, quickies in the library parking lot, or in the middle of the soccer field.Read More

For all of those either currently in, or recently graduated from all that is Greek, you might relate to a few of these. Also feel free to hate mail me if you disagree.     1. You immediately get defensive when you hear the question, “So you pay for your friends?” And you probably respond with something like, “So you pay for cover?”   2. You have at least three iTunes playlists with titles like, “Pregame,” “Rager,” “Darty-ing,” and “Amurrica.”   3. You’re comfortable with putting things in Greek alphabeticalRead More

Dear Awkward Teenager, I’m staring my late-twenties in the face, but I still couldn’t tell you the details of their anatomy. It’s funny how I still manage to daydream the way you do during 4th period only to be awoken by the lunch bell. So much changes, but so much stays the same. Trust me on this, sometimes it’s best to just embrace the unknown as opposed to finding out the answers immediately. Honestly, some questions or prayers will go unanswered for what seems like an eternity, but that’s onlyRead More

It was one of those nights that the busy burrito place down the street makes you alter your seating arrangement three times. From a table that could seat eight, to the end of another wobbly legged one, to finally suggesting a back-corner table by the bathroom door. We made clumsy eye contact with those who entered the bathroom and shut the door facing outwards. Rejecting previous offers for an additional plate for this shared burrito meant that the manner in which I splayed burrito guts out of tortillas couldn’t beRead More

  First, you decide what kind of tone you want for the night     Then, the pregame…aka probably the only part of the night you will remember                         You might confront your roommate about how they never clean up their shit                         You will probably end up at a bar and probably see something shocking                     Then youRead More

Here is another one for you folks obsessed with the hookup culture. The word relationship has a definition in the dictionary, but it does not follow a specific mould in practice. Average relationships last three to five months, but is anyone taking into account the micro relationship? A one night stand is just that, a micro relationship. It is a much nicer way of putting what has become norm turned back taboo turned back norm and now I’m not even sure what it is. Within a matter of hours an entireRead More