#1 – Finding/Gathering all your Belongings
If this one night stand happened due to a case of the blackouts, it is likely that your stuff is all over the place. It’s weird enough waking up in a place you barely remember coming back to, so the anxiety attack that you’ve lost all your things sets in quickly. Just get dressed, and begin to roam around the apartment until you stumble upon your wallet and phone. If your stuff isn’t there, then you are just shit out of luck. Call the last bar you remember and pray someone has it.
#2 – The Name Game
In general, it is pretty bad to meet someone new and not know his or her name after a sober five minutes. Then, think of this in terms of someone you just slept with. There are three ways to handle this situation. First, flat out ask them. Second, get your shit together and book it out of there as fast as you can before you even have to exchange names. Lastly, you could trick them into giving it to you by asking for their number and have them put it in your phone. This will always be an uncomfortable situation; you just need to decide how to handle it.
#3 – Running into Roommates
As you try and casually sneak out of this stranger’s apartment, of course you run the risk of bumping into their roommate. Maybe they will laugh it off or maybe they’ll prolong the embarrassment by commenting on the walk of shame you are about to endure. Hopefully you can shake off the humiliation.
#4 – Getting Home
One-night stands are, by nature, a one-time thing with a person you just met while out the night before. It is safe to say you probably don’t know this person too well. This situation also has options on how to go about getting home. You could either A) Call yourself a cab and fend for yourself or B) ask nicely for a ride home, assuming they have a vehicle. Best-case scenario is this person will offer to give you a ride or even call a cab (maybe even pay for it if you are lucky).
#5 – The Awkward Goodbye
The end of the one-night stand is by far the worst. If you are smart, it goes a little bit like ripping off a band-aid (just get it over with). Questions run through your head as they walk you to the door: “So do we hug it out? Or do I give em’ a kiss? Or do I just say goodbye and run away as casually as possible?” Trying to sense the mood at this point is hard to do, and there is really no good option I can give you here. A kiss on the cheek may be the best way out of the situation; it says, “I had a nice time from what I remember, but I probably won’t see you again.” If someone comes up with a perfect, awkward goodbye situation please let me know.