Humor Tag

When you are waiting for Dominos to be delivered                     Wait… did you say you ordered pizza?!                   When you realize — Holy shit! Is that a spider?!                    When you are at your desk all day and someone asks if you want to grab Starbucks                   When you have to use the restroom and there is aRead More

Moving back in with your parents isn’t glamorous.  I think we all know that, some better than others.  But that’s where I’m at–in my childhood home, being stretched to the limits with Mama Darling, Papa Darling, my two adult brothers, and me.  It’s like a second childhood, only minus Sister Darling.  With all these people packed into the house, it’s hard to catch any time alone, but when I do…     1. I Drink a Diet Coke First Thing After Waking Up Let’s be real, it’s 11AM anyways andRead More

Sometimes we get caught up worrying about the little things. We worry about the bills getting paid, our appearances, what others think of us, North Korea. I’m here to tell you that you shouldn’t sweat the small stuff. Here are some things that you should actually be worrying about.   Aliens Odds are, they’re out there. Think about it. And if they are out there it’s only a matter of time before they come after us. I highly doubt humans are properly equipped to battle Extraterrestrials. Like, hello? Have you watchedRead More

Shade is an attitude, a form of expression, a lifestyle. Below are some common faces of Shade that happen on the regular, and are always #judgingyou.   1. The “…hmmm” confused shade Examples of when and where this shade could be used: – When someone is trying to push their beliefs on you. – When the teacher is explaining the upcoming assignment.     2. The “… uhh whatever..” Shade Examples of when and where this shade could be used: – When someone beat you in a debate (i.e. Amber vs.Read More

1. A$AP Ferg, Lac Lac: “A$AP, the vision’s so clear / I can see you haters from here / Can’t knock me outta my chair / My flow you won’t come near” Really I could have stopped at A$AP the vision’s so clear, because like wtf that sounds like a bad line from a fight song. “Harris Hall, the vision’s so clear.” And the rest doesn’t really warrant an analysis because it’s just lame. Straight-up lame.   2. Big K.R.I.T., “What You Know About It”: Suicide doors, Cobaine on ’em.Read More

The Ice Bucket Challenge is supposed to be an awareness and fundraising campaign for the fight against ALS where people either donate $100 to the ALS Association, or dump an ice cold bucket of water on their heads and then donate $10 to the ALS Association. Then they get to challenge three other people to do one of those two things. Many uninformed people are just dumping a bucket of ice on their heads and then challenging other people to do the same, which doesn’t do a whole hell ofRead More

It was one of those nights that the busy burrito place down the street makes you alter your seating arrangement three times. From a table that could seat eight, to the end of another wobbly legged one, to finally suggesting a back-corner table by the bathroom door. We made clumsy eye contact with those who entered the bathroom and shut the door facing outwards. Rejecting previous offers for an additional plate for this shared burrito meant that the manner in which I splayed burrito guts out of tortillas couldn’t beRead More

  First, you decide what kind of tone you want for the night     Then, the pregame…aka probably the only part of the night you will remember                         You might confront your roommate about how they never clean up their shit                         You will probably end up at a bar and probably see something shocking                     Then youRead More

The stories you are about to read are all 100% true. Names, locations, and other identifying characteristics have not been changed to protect the innocent. Namely, because the only innocent person in these scenarios is me.   10. Guy: “I’m not gonna bust inside you, I’m a nice Jewish boy.” Me: *Nopes the fuck out*   9. Guy mumbles something. Me: “What?” Guy: “I’m tired.” Then proceeds to roll over and pass tf out on top of me. In a twin bed. While I am struck with the undeniable andRead More

Take a long, hard look at this design and tell me what you see.  Is it the innocent image of a rooster, or do you get a throbbing feeling that the designer had something a little more phallic in mind?  That’s the source of the blowback directed at catering company Dirty Bird Fried Chicken for their controversial new logo. According to graphic artist Mark James, the man behind the cockerel, the image is nothing more than a barnyard bird. “We were given the name Dirty Bird as the brief, and startedRead More

  1. When you are out to dinner with that one friend that only has a credit card     2. When there is something in your contacts     3. When you are at a big family dinner       4. When you are at work hungover       5. When someone questions your driving ability       6. When you realize the Kardashians really aren’t that cool       7. When you are trying to diet… but pizza is forever       8. When yourRead More

The Teen Choice Awards aired this past weekend. My 25th birthday is next week. The combination of these two things has brought upon me the realization that I’m getting old. The following is how I know I’m getting old…   I had no idea who any of the “stars” at the Teen Choice Awards were…   …except for Donald Sutherland. He’s a Hollywood legend. Who the hell are those hooligans standing next to him? Seriously. And what’s a Zendaya? Why do all the fan groups name themselves, isn’t that how cultsRead More

Bananas are typically a gentle, mellow fruit.  The shell of their sweet meat is a harbinger of peace and tranquility.  Generally harmless, these fruits can exhibit passive signs of aggressiveness (should they be provoked) that, if not taken seriously, could lead to major repercussions for our diet as human beings.  Here are some things to avoid:   1. Separating it from its bunch Bananas are a pack fruit, they hang out in family groups–much like the Brady bunch.  In fact, a group of wild bananas is referred to as aRead More

A strange thing happened to me when I started working in marketing and advertising: I started to look at everything within the context of marketing and advertising. I wouldn’t say I’ve become obsessed with branding; it’s more like my eye for and appreciation of branding has bled from my work life into the rest of it, so that I can no longer discern the two. For the layman: a brand is a name or other feature that makes one product distinct from its competition. And a huge part of anyRead More

They’re back, America. After last year’s chart-topping, breakthrough single, “Football on Your Phone,” the Manning brothers have returned to the music biz with their latest smash hit, “Fantasy Football Fantasy.” Watch below as everyone’s favorite awkward, white quarterbacks get straight ill on the track. The rap game will never be the same again.    Read More