Humor Tag

NBC recently announced the Season 16 cast of its hit show The Biggest Loser. This season’s theme: “Glory Days”. The cast is made up of 20 former athletes, including former Olympic gold medalists, standout college athletes and ex-NFL players Scott Mitchell and Damien Woody. Evidently Mitchell has put on about 130lbs since his QB days and Damien Woody’s growing tired of his burly linesman’s figure. I know there are a hell of a lot of other NFL players that will need some Biggest Loser treatment after their careers come toRead More

1. White males are statistically wayyyyy more likely to be serial killers. Source.   2. If I go on a beach date with a white guy, I’ll have to stop my sea-frolicking every 30 minutes so he can put on sunscreen. Or worse, I’ll have to help him apply it on his back in those hard-to-reach places. I hate touching people’s backs.   3. My dad is white. I do not have daddy issues.   4. White guys listen to bands like Death Cab for Cutie and Panic! At theRead More

Just as some men are better off on our TV screens, these fellas are definitely better off on the Silver Screen… Aragorn, The Lord of the Rings Relationship Status: It’s Complicated with Arwen Aragorn is a handsome Prince who is loyal and brave, not to mention he has a big sword and knows how to use it. But chances are all his brooding would get old fast. He’s constantly in mortal danger and like, yeah, it’s all for the greater good to save the world whatever, but can you imagine how stressful it’d beRead More

From: [email protected] To: [email protected] Subject: Re: Confirmed! Randy’s Chinese Food received your order. Estimated delivery: 45-60 minutes. [12:11 a.m.] To Whom It May Concern— Please cancel this order. When I placed it mere moments ago, the Seamless website told me there had been an error, and that I should start from the beginning and order again. Being in the famished state I am, I opted to not give Seamless another try. It’d be a waste of valuable time if I were to recreate the order only to find another errorRead More

So I live with two random dudes. I don’t know them (it’s a long story) and before you ask, no I’m not sleeping with either of them. Usually it’s totally cool and living with guys is better in some ways than living with girls (a topic I will cover soon, coming to an article near you). Except. Except this morning when one of my roommates (I don’t know which one) took a full 40 minutes in the bathroom. 40! It made me a half hour late to work all becauseRead More

Life is really easy. Especially when you’re either Julia Roberts or Meg Ryan.   My Best Friend’s Wedding You can still be a likable protagonist while trying to ruin people’s lives by lying, scheming, and messing with their relationships for your own selfish reasons.   Grease You can get guys to like you by dressing slutty and smoking cigarettes.   When Harry Met Sally You can’t actually just be friends with a man. On the bright side, if you’re secretly in love with your best friend it’ll work out greatRead More

Oh boy. I could make this list about 3,000 people long, but I doubt you’d want to read it any more than I want to write it. So instead, we’ll focus on the absolute worst of the worst; here are the 5 celebrities that I utterly, completely hate. (And yes, Plain White Tees, I am aware that hate is a strong word…but I mean it).   #5 – Blake Shelton I don’t know why, really. Maybe it’s his utter lack of talent, or maybe it’s because he hosts the freaking Voice. MostlyRead More

I swoon over a british accent as much as the next girl, but these 3 Brits are extra special.  This article is going to be a bit more philosophical (bored millennial philosophical that is…) about 3 Brits who are talented and famous – I didn’t know such a thing could exist! They had their cake… and they are eating it too. And I would like to officially give them The Bored Millennial American Citizenship Certificate and/or adopt them to become my very own American adult children. So with that, belowRead More

I don’t listen to the radio often, but today I felt the urge to listen to some top 40 hits. TGIF, ya know? I caught wind of the new Tiesto song, “Wasted.” Or maybe it’s not new, I don’t know what’s on the radio these days. But anyways. I started listening to this song and I mean REALLY listening and all I could think was how every statement in this song is so wrong. So let me break it down for you.   1. “I like it better when we’reRead More

First dates are like interviews. At least in my experience. Every halfway decent one I’ve ever been on is a volley of questions, as if both parties are reporters and the person across the table is his or her subject. Except instead of writing about them, both people are tasked with trying to decide whether this person has enough potential to be included in future plans – whether that is a second date, a night of wild sex, and/or everlasting love. But in my experience, these questions have been mostlyRead More

I don’t mind being naked.  And I’m a fairly decent dancer.  I’ve graduated from college and now I’m just waiting for the world to realize how great I am!  In the meantime, it seems I am pretty well-equipped for a certain career. The first thing I’ll need to do is expand my stripper heel collection.  Like, I might actually have to buy a pair.  Only I’d like to work in the kind of place that would encourage the Spice Girls style shoe, more of a platform tennis shoe.  I’m wonderingRead More

Last week an amazing YouTube video graced the world with its presence. Basically, homegirl just got her wisdom teeth out (ouch) and is still loopy from the anesthesia (ughh jealous). This video was a compilation of vines she posted, that have sense been deleted… but the short clips have become a short film, that will be featured in the Sundance film festival because it is that good. Kidding- but honestly this shit is amazing. She has just expressed every white-girl fantasy in 30 seconds… I mean we were all thinkingRead More

In these uncertain economic times, a young man’s pursuit of a career has changed from how it was 10 or 20 years ago. Everyone’s heard the stories of their fathers and grandfathers sticking with a company and going from the mail room to the manager’s desk in 50 years. That simply isn’t the case with our generation. People don’t feel loyal and responsible towards companies anymore unless they can get exactly what they want. Nor should they. Nowadays, companies looking to attract the services of hip, young and savvy professionalsRead More

A new study done by the National Environmental Warming Syndicate (N.E.W.S.) proves that many recent changes in the world can be blamed on climate change. The rising sea levels that will finally sadly wipe out Florida within the next century are now not the only thing being linked to the rising temperatures on earth. Most atmospheric scientists, with the exception of the few who got online degrees, agree that climate change is happening now at a rapid pace. Since I know that nobody will actually read anything at all thatRead More

I’ve decided to do a social experiment to see how much I have changed in the past decade. I’m 26, so I selected some things that were part of my life at 16 and still are now. Then I analyzed how I view or react to doing them.   Getting a paycheck. 16: This is fucking awesome! $84 for stocking shelves and running a cash register! I knew this job would make me rich! I’m going to treat myself to some books, and then I’m going to give the restRead More